Yowzers. Another week passes.
Firstly, I can’t believe that I have a fully grown (pretty much) baby inside me now. Even with the help of this 37 weeks pregnant picture I find it really hard to imagine (courtesy of ask a mum)!
Secondly, I literally can’t keep up and everything is beginning to feel a bit overwhelming. I know when I think about it logically (with Mike’s help) that it is all fine but my crazy baby brain isn’t logical and I barely slept last night for thinking about things. I’m not entirely sure what, just things.
We moved back into our house yesterday after 3 and half weeks away. I’d really been looking forward to it but once we got back the amount that still needs to be done (preferably in the next week so that I can properly relax and let baby know that we’re ready for it to come out!) freaked me out a bit. What were we thinking finishing a whole house renovation 2 weeks before the baby is due (aka leaving us 2 weeks to sort out furniture/doors/a fitted wardrobe (in an awkward space)/odds and sods/etc.)?! That’s just our style.
Mike assures me that it’s all fine but considering he normally has a hissy fit when he does any DIY, it’s not entirely reassuring! Having said that, he does seem to have renewed vigour so I’m guessing his nesting instinct has kicked in too. There’s nothing like a deadline to focus the mind!
The good thing about all this drama is that it’s a welcome distraction for my overactive mind.
Last Thursday I read about Debbie, a blogger from Fife (http://familylifeinfife.blogspot.co.uk/), who sadly lost her baby, Daisy, a day after giving birth to her nearly 3 weeks ago. Until I read Debbie’s story, I hadn’t even considered that this could happen and it’s haunted me ever since. It’s taken until today to be able to talk about it and even now I’ve still had a cry. I feel so sad for Debbie and her family, but with 2 weeks to go, I actually haven’t been able to read more than a few lines of her blog at a time. I feel guilty about it but I really need to focus on being positive. There is so much that is unknown and you really can’t prepare yourself for something as tragic as this.
I realise now that this is why I potentially flew off the handle (all be it, in cyberspace) at the gym instructor. I don’t want anyone telling me at this stage that I could be harming my baby because at 37 weeks pregnant I’m neurotic enough.
This week, aside from stressing over every lack of movement (probably due to a lack of space, until bedtime when baby bean goes crazy), I have been superduper itchy. This in turn has made me worry that I had intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy (a liver condition with symptoms that include itchiness, no rash, dark wee and light coloured poo – guess what I’ve spent my week doing?). I don’t. I got the blood test back today. In hind sight I should have continued reading to the bit that said less than 1% of mothers in the US get it.
As a distraction, when I’ve had chance I’ve been focusing on what I can control by reading my hippy guide to childbirth book. I mentioned quite some time ago – when I thought I had all the time in the world – a midwife from the USA, called Ina May Gaskin, when I was discussing where I wanted to have the baby (Home birth verses birthing centre). Ina May has been delivering babies naturally for decades and I really like her style. I feel that childbirth is so instinctive that there is almost no way to get your head around it, you literally have to trust that your body will deliver the goods and know what to do!
And for those who can’t really relax and do that, there’s Ina May with a host of crazy techniques that she has seen work through the years. From loads of bonking to bring on labour to nipple twiddling to help labour progress. This book is right up my street, and while I may be setting myself up for a fall (I’ve been advised that whatever you plan for, the opposite will happen – mums can be so mean to mums-to-be!), I’ve got a few blog posts to distract/help focus the mind/laugh at/whatever you like so long as you are thinking positively xx
9 comments
Sophie on 7-25-2012 at 7:36 am
Hey Hannah,
I was reading another blog the other day about a pregnant woman who was really itchy too! What washing powder do you use? She cound out that her biological washing powder was what was causing the itchiness as her pregnant skin was loads more sensitive. She literally had to rewash her entire wardrobe but then the problem was solved. Just a suggestion!
hannah on 7-25-2012 at 1:29 pm
You know what, sophie, it could be that – it started properly in the last week or so when we were staying with our parents’ and getting our clothes washed by them (bliss!)…it certainly seems ok today and I’m wearing clothes washed at my house. The other thing I thought it might be is bubble bath so I’ve stopped using any in my evening bath and maybe that’s helping too. Thanks for your comment xx
caroline on 7-25-2012 at 10:23 am
hey hannah,
just checked back to see how you are doing and wanted to say all the best for the coming weeks! it must feel quite overwhelming now that it really is around the corner – but i’m sure you’ll be amazing, and you’ll handle whatever comes at you. don’t overthink everything and allow your emotions to completely rule you – your hormones are in control so you may as well submit to them and enjoy it!! once the bub is here you will be so consumed with love that you’ll forget all about this bit!
hope it all goes really smoothly for you and can’t wait to hear an update from the other side!!! eek!
xx
hannah on 7-25-2012 at 1:32 pm
Thanks Caroline!!! It’s really exciting when you put it like that. In a weird way I’m looking forward to the birth – I just hope I can enjoy it (sounds crazy but I think it is possible!) and not become afraid of what Might happen…
Thanks for your good wishes xxx
Lucy on 7-25-2012 at 11:16 am
Hannah,
All these things sount pretty normal to me, itchy, stressed not sleeping panicking etc. You unfortunately cant control too much at the moment, try to relax a little bit, what ever doesnt get sone now will get done at some point, its amazing how much these little ones sleep in the first few weeks.
I do find the whole thing pretty amazing, i kept looking at my 2 babies wondering how on earth di you fit in there only the other day??? Infact at nearly 6 and 2.5 i still am amazed by the whoe thing. Enjoy my darling your doing a great job xx
hannah on 7-25-2012 at 1:23 pm
I suppose I’m worried that the baby will rumble me and realise I haven’t the first clue what I’m doing and the refuse to come out! Haha – I actually slept like a log last night, even forgoing Geordie Shore (guilty pleasure!), so I can’t be that stressed! Thanks for the peptalk and positive vibes xxxx
Ania on 7-25-2012 at 1:08 pm
Hey sweetie, I think surrounding yourels with positive thoughts is a good idea. Avoid, birthing horror stories and keep listening to Mongan (chuckle) and her irritating affirmations!! Your body is perfectly designed to give birth
As for cholastasis. I developed that 2 days before my due date with Lucian and although I little scary at the time it didn’t really matter they just induced me so don’t worry if you do get it but as you say it’s so rare you almost certainly wont!
Just remember for every horror story there are millions of non-horror stories and you will be fantastic. As Dan said to me when I was pregnant…this is just the start of an entire lifetime of worry so try not to start now lol! Enjoy your last 3 weeks, try to savour moments of peace and quiet and being able to just ‘pop out’ whilst you still can and lots of ‘quick labour’ vibes coming your way from us. Love you lots xxx
hannah on 7-25-2012 at 1:18 pm
Thanks love! And you are of course, getting the little baba out is just the beginning of the worries! Mike has been saying much the same thing as Dan – two wise fellas we have there
thanks for your good vibes and don’t worry I’m working the positive affirmations! Xxx
Ems on 7-26-2012 at 9:12 am
Hail Ina May, that’s what I say with her “rushes” rather than contractions. No! to neuroticism (easier said I know). Han, you will be amazing and if the wardrobe is slightly squint it’ll have character x