time flies when you're being a mum

Childbirth tagged with '2nd child'

How do you get a baby out? Well, there are about a million different ways to do childbirth and this aims to cover as many as possible!


Guest post from Lorna, I Knitted Me a Beach

09 Jul, 2014

Lorna from I Knitted Me a Beach is my guest blogger on The Giving Birth Series and for anyone who had a tricky first birth and has therefore been put off having number 2 (like me)…your welcome!

Lorna’s Very Different Birth Stories

To say my two experiences of birth were like chalk and cheese would be an understatement. The only similarity between the two was that I was 9 days over my due date with both.

Growing up - Lorna's two very different Birth Stories! http://www.mumsdays.com/two-very-different-birth-stories

I thought I was as prepared as I could be first time round. But when my waters broke just as I was getting in to bed one evening, with the pains starting shortly after, the last thing in the world I felt I could cope with was giving birth. All I craved was a good nights sleep!

A sleepless night spent in early labour, gave way to a morning of ever increasing pains and so we made our way to the hospital just before lunchtime. Once there, the pains were so intense in my back I was physically sick. This, plus the utter exhaustion I felt due to lack of sleep resulted in me feeling completely overwhelmed and out of control. I just could not cope with the pain, so I requested an epidural.

Finally, close to midnight my daughter was born. It was a struggle, she had to be delivered using forceps and I was torn quite badly. I was disappointed that the whole experience was not at all how I’d imagined it to be. However with a new healthy baby to look after, I put these feelings to one side and instead focused on raising this tiny being as best I could. The moment I looked down at my daughter shortly after her birth, cradling her in my arms, a huge wave of love and overwhelming responsibility for her consumed me and I tried to put the birth behind me.

Baby number one, Olivia - Lorna's two very different Birth Stories! http://www.mumsdays.com/two-very-different-birth-stories

Three years later I fell pregnant again. During the early months I concentrated on keeping myself well, eating healthily and doing a lot of walking. As my bump started to grow, giving birth was getting nearer to becoming a reality. At first I panicked. I did not want a repeat of my last experience. I wanted to be in control. I wanted to experience what it feels like to push, I wanted to remain positive and use that positive energy to make the experience the best it could be. I bought a book, Blooming Birth by Lucy Atkins, and I read and re-read it several times. I was going to be in control. I was going to channel my breathing in a positive way. Giving birth is a natural process resulting in the most tremendous, life changing outcome and therefore I wanted our birth journey to be the best it could be, for both of us.

This time round I bought a birthing ball. Why had I not had one first time around? These are the best thing for easing the pressure that you feel down below, particularly towards the end of pregnancy. I would bounce up and down and roll about on that ball every day to relieve the back aches and pains, whilst watching TV, It was so much more comfortable than the sofa.

Fit to burst with baby number two, Tessa - Lorna's two very different Birth Stories! http://www.mumsdays.com/two-very-different-birth-stories

Towards the end of my pregnancy, we had friends from the Netherlands come to stay with us. As expected, discussions soon turned to labour and giving birth. Hearing how over there, the approach to childbirth is that it’s a natural process, with most women giving birth at home. There is much less medical interventions and pain relief is not routinely offered to a labouring woman. It all sounded less clinical and so much more liberating. Hearing this, I was even more determined to apply the same approach to my upcoming childbirth experience. My due date came and went and I worked at trying to remain focused, mindful, positive and in control. I practiced my breathing techniques as mentioned in the book and kept my friends words at the forefront of my mind.

When the time came, I was kneeling down to kiss my three year old goodnight, when I arose to feel a popping sensation, which were my waters breaking. It was around 8pm, I felt excited, yet calm. This was it, it was starting! My contractions set in shortly after and with each one I applied my breathing techniques and repeated positive messages over and over in my mind. As midnight approached, my contractions had intensified, so we made our way to hospital.

Once there I tried to stay as mobile as possible. As each contraction grew stronger, I did opt for some gas and air, which helped me to channel my breathing and I found it exhilarating. With each contraction that past, my excitement grew and my husband and the midwife were right there next me, constantly praising me and encouraging me. We were experiencing this together. We were a team and our goal was in sight. I remained upright, kneeling on the bed, facing the wall. When the urge to push overwhelmed me, I was completely consumed by the moment and I found my body just took over and did its thing. I will never forget that feeling. It was so intense and liberating. I was in control of each push that was bringing my baby into the world. Finally, just after 2am, my daughter was born. I was elated. I immediately wished I could do it all again. I felt so proud that I’d kept my focus and enjoyed every moment of the experience. They say two births are never the same and it was definitely true in my case.

Big sister and baby Tessa - Lorna's two very different Birth Stories! http://www.mumsdays.com/two-very-different-birth-stories

Thank you so much, Lorna!! You’ve definitely given me hope for a second baby now…I did try really hard to be focused and positive with the first but I think in actual fact, I just wasn’t prepared! Hopefully I can be like you and have very different births! Oh, and thank you for the book recommendation, I’ll definitely try and get a copy (should there be a number 2!!).

Lorna is from the wonderful blog I Knitted Me a Beach (I recommend having a read!) and is my featured blogger on The Giving Birth Series (click the link for more than 50 more birth stories).

Lorna's two very different Birth Stories! http://www.mumsdays.com/two-very-different-birth-stories

16 Mar, 2014

When I get a birth story, I have to decide what it’s about so I can give it a name and categorise it in The Giving Birth Series…for Lori’s story loads of other things happen (a big baby, induction and looooong labour, emergency c-section – which is really moving to read – and big blood loss) but what really sticks out to me is how Lori describes her babies meeting and her feelings to be leaving one at home and not being able to be together as a family. That really touched me! I’ve struggled to think of having a second child but I’m starting to get there and I know there are lots of mama’s who are expecting number 2 so I hope you enjoy this one!

having a second child

Having a second child – Lori’s Birth Story

Not sure exactly where to start, but here goes. I’m going to write about my second labour, but I’ll mention my first to give a bit of context!

With my first baby, Grace, who was born in 2010 I had a pretty straight forward labour using just gas and air, and this may sound silly, but I actually enjoyed labour. Crazy to say out loud, but I have such fond memories of the whole experience, I can’t help but smile when I reminisce!

Anywho, fast forward to 2012 and I’m pregnant with a little boy (who wasn’t named until he made his appearance!). I had a fairly easy and straight forward pregnancy until week 34. At routine midwife appointment it turns out my bump is big and measuring 38 weeks. People had commented how huge my belly was! Haha!

having a second child

Lori at 40 weeks

Some tests were ran to check for excess fluid (polyhydramnios) but all seemed ok. I was then referred for extra scans at 37 weeks and although baby was measuring slightly big, I was told it was nothing to worry about.

Fast forward 3 weeks to my due date and I had been in slow labour for 2 weeks. I was 2-3cm dilated, with irregular contractions and not much exciting happening apart from my discomfort. It June as well, so very hot and uncomfortable with a 22 month old to run around after too. My due date was 4th June, and although I’d had a membrane sweep at 39 weeks due to baby’s size and me being in slow labour, not much else had happened. I was sent for yet another growth scan at 40+6 and got a shock! Baby was estimated to be over 11lb!! My daughter was only 7lb10 and was born at 41 weeks.

Queue consultant, midwife and sonographer advising me what to do. They said a planned section would be the best option, to reduce the chances of shoulder dystocia (as seen on OBEM…frightening as hell!). Now, I’m not a stubborn person BUT I had my rose coloured labour glasses on and I didn’t want to miss out on trying for natural, so after 24 hours of decision making and lots of cups of tea (between irritating, niggling, slow labour pains) it was decided I would have an induction at 41+1.

I was booked in for 8am on Wednesday 13th June. I arrived at hospital and had checks done. My midwife felt confident she could break my waters (I was 3cm dilated at this point!)…oh boy did they break….I have never ever witnessed anything like it. I’m a bit of a giggler and I found the whole thing hilarious. The midwife was covered in water, as was the bed, the floor, and all of the surrounding area! The more I laughed, the more gushed out!!! Ha!!

There was meconium present, most likely to due to me being overdue so they began to monitor the baby. Contractions then started to come on quite strong. This was about 11.30am. As well as having my husband in the labour room, I also had my best friend as a birthing partner. We contacted her to let her know things were moving along so she should come to the hospital. Things weren’t moving a long very fast so I was given a pessary to help things speed up. This worked and contractions were stronger. I was put in my own room about 4pm (this is an estimate as things are blurred!). I was then put on an oxytocin drip to help contractions.

I was still leaking a lot of water at this point, which I still found funny! My best friend (Karen) had arrived by this point and I was taking gas and air for the pain….I love gas and air….it makes me feel so happy, and a bit drunk! I also think it makes me sound like a man! My husband had witnessed my reaction to gas and air in my first labour, so he was prepared for the giggles! My best friend, however, hadn’t yet experienced me on gas and air!! Well, I was away with the fairies…. Reliving every funny story I could! We’ve been best friends since we were 3, so there was a lot of funny stories I wanted to relive! Karen and me were so loud and giggly my midwife was asked to close my room door! Hehe!

We were having a hoot and my husband was looking at us as though we had lost the plot (not a typical labour up until this point, although I will point out how amazing Karen was at helping me to the toilet, sorting my hair, feeding me and applying Vaseline to my lips as well as being my giggle buddy!).

I was examined at 7pm (ish) and I was 6cm dilated and things were moving along well. Still on gas and air, still giggling and still leaking water! My hubby and Karen were very supportive and sat eating and watching the tennis whilst I was in agony. Things were still going well until about 10pm I had the urge to push. Serious urge. I had this with my first so remembered the feeling. I went to the toilet to try for a pooh, nothing. Midwife examined me and I was 8cm. Nearly there. I could see the light! She was going to examine me at 12am unless I was ready to push, I was determined to be ready sooner than then! I was very tired though, and the contractions were painful so I opted for a small dose of diamorphine to take the edge off.

It’s been more blurry from this point but my hubby said I was in a lot of pain and contracting lots. The midwife was preparing for me to deliver very soon. She examined me at 12am and I was 9cm, I was devastated. I remember saying I really had to push, but I wasn’t allowed yet! Fast forward 2 hours, even more exhausted and another examination. STILL 9 bloody cm!! So, this is where things went a bit crazy. Baby wasn’t in any danger but given that the scans estimated him to be quite large, they were worried about him getting stuck. About 5 people were in my room, one doctor had her hand on baby’s head and decided he wasn’t going to make it out the natural route! I was gutted…after all of that hard work, I was going to end up with the Caesarian I didn’t want!

Karen and my hubby were prepared for my anger at this, but I remember feeling sad but agreeing that I had to listen to the docs. So, my hubby was rushed off to put scrubs on while Karen was given all the bags and whisked off to the ward to wait for us returning. I remember a funny anaesthetist called Jeremy being there and giving me a spinal block. I remember the look of fear in Andrew’s eyes as we went into theatre. I remember saying bye to Karen and feeling sad she wouldn’t see our baby boy make his appearance into the world! I remember crying and holding the amazing midwife’s hand. I remember telling her to look after Andrew as I was worried about him. I remember being freezing and shivering like crazy. I remember hearing my baby boy cry and I remember crying and seeing Andrew cry as he was handed our gorgeous boy. I remember being sick in my hair (Karen had fed me crisps and chocolate earlier in the evening, delicious at the time, not such a good idea after my body was shocked with an operation!…I’ll live and learn though!! Ha!). The midwife washed it with hand soap and water as I told her the smell was making me want to be sick again!

Max arrived at 03.27am and weighed 9lb5oz….not the 11lb predicted, but still big. He looked huge when he was wrapped up in the sheet and handed to Andrew. I lost a lot of blood (1800ml and still unexplained as to why, just one of those things!) so Andrew took Max to meet Auntie Karen while I was stitched and sorted out. Andrew has since said the amount of blood was scary, but I had no idea at the time.

I was taken to the ward where Max was placed on my chest and immediately started searching for something to eat…a feeling I loved and even made Karen rip the strap on my nightie to make it easier for the little dude (I had a lot of wires connected due to the c-section which were getting in his way!). We were smitten immediately, and I have fond memories of Andrew and Karen attempting to dress Max in a baby grow which was meant for up to 9lb babies…Max was wedged in it! Ha! I think I had convinced myself pre-labour that he was going to weigh no more than 8lb!

having a second child

Here he is!

Due to my blood loss, I needed to spend 3 days in hospital and needed 2 blood transfusions. I was desperate to get home to our gorgeous girly. She was one of the reasons I didn’t want to opt for a c-section. I wanted to keep things as normal as possible for her. She was with her grannie while I was in hospital, and she did come to meet her baby brother on the same day he was born. Some of the most precious and emotional moments of my entire life were made on the labour ward seeing a 22 month old toddler, Grace, meet a few hours old baby, Max. Suddenly 3 had become 4! Amazing moments. I remember sobbing when she left and she wanted to stay with her mammy. Painful moments.

After 3 days in hospital, Max and I were allowed to leave on Saturday 16th June at 2pm. We went straight to my mam’s house for Grace to spend more time with her brother, and so my mam could fuss over her family, something she loves doing! The c-section did leave me in some pain, but I was mobile within a few days and able to go for short walks. I did make sure I followed the doctors advice on the abstaining for ironing, cooking, cleaning and tidying for at least 4 weeks….instead I enjoyed snuggles with my newborn and my girly while everyone fussed around us! Pure bliss! Xxxxxxxx

having a second child

First night home

Lush Lori! Thank you so much. I thought that ironing and cleaning abstention was a lifetime one…whoops 😉 xx

 

 

12 Mar, 2014

Sam had her second baby a few months ago and I remember chatting to her before she gave birth. She said she had a 16 month old (which Reuben was at the time) and she was due soon. I couldn’t believe it! But she was so calm and collected, so it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest when she sent me her story saying second babies come quick!

There is always an element of drama around a quick birth but happily for Sam (and more so for her husband!) she was able to read the signals and get where she needed to in the nick of time! Oh and P.S. you won’t see a more glamour mama straight after giving birth.

Second babies come quick!

My best friend continually reminded me, “second babies come quick,”… she ended up being stuck in the bath at home and had to ring an ambulance but that’s another story! For me, however, this was great advice as it turns out my second baby really did come quick!

At term+4 I woke after a decent night’s sleep (as decent as it gets when you are 9 months pregnant) and thought I had tummy ache. I wasn’t quite sure as, like many mums-to-be, my mind was playing games and at any given time I could have probably convinced myself for some reason or another I was in labour. I did, however, share this thought with my hubby when he woke up. He told me not to get too excited!

My little boy (Max, 17months at the time) was at a birthday party at our local Brewers Fayre play area at 10am. By the time we were ready to go to the party I knew something was definitely happening, although based upon how I felt I thought my baby would be arriving late that night / the next day.

second babies come quick!

Sam on the way to the party

We headed off to the party keen to keep the news under wraps and for me to poker face any niggles. The intention being we would come home after the party, Max would go for his nap, I would have a bath and then ring the hospital to be reminded how close and regular contractions had to be before you went in.

We had been at the party 30 minutes when I told my hubby I needed to go outside for fresh air and that he would have to come with me. To his horror when we got outside something told me my baby was coming so I broke the news to him that I needed to go to hospital right now! He looked at me in disbelief saying, ‘Are you sure you were fine a minute ago!’ I had never been so sure of anything.

All prepared at home were my Mam, my hospital bag and my notes. Steven got in the car with strict instructions to be quick, thankfully we only live about a 5 minute drive away.

Meanwhile back at the party I could no longer control myself and poker face the pain. My contractions were that strong and painful I was doubled over a table in full view of everyone trying to enjoy their Sunday morning breakfast!

Steven arrived back shortly with my Mam, who took over at the party looking after Max and I got in the car. My contractions were coming so fast I couldn’t even ring the hospital en route to advise them we were on our way.

Steven screeched up to a drop off layby at the hospital where we abandoned the car and we headed inside, with me stopping every other step as I contracted.

We burst into the maternity ward and all I can remember saying is ‘I need gas and air and would like a water birth, my baby is coming.’

I was ushered into a side room for an examination, which came with the advice that I couldn’t have gas and air as if I wasn’t 5cm they would have to take it off me! I’m sure they thought I was being a drama queen.

I was examined and told I was 9cm dilated and they were trying not to break my waters, I was taken immediately round to the birthing pool room.

We got into the room and the taps of the pool were turned on. As I got out of the wheelchair I said again to the midwife, ‘This baby is coming.’ She took one look and said, ‘Yes, it certainly is!’ And asked if I could make it onto the bed, then told me I wouldn’t be having a water birth as there wasn’t time.

At this point I finally got gas and air but was all concerned in between puffs that my waters hadn’t broke. Apparently babies can be born in their waters so there wasn’t any concern. With the next contraction my waters did break and the one after my baby was born.

Tom arrived into the world at 11.42am. I had been in hospital a total of 32 minutes and could have made it back to the party for the cake.

second babies come quick!

First cuddle with Tom!

From my point of view it was an amazing, very natural experience. I controlled all the pushing and just went with what my body was telling me to do.  Steven still says it all happened a bit quick for him!!!!

Thank you Sam!

What a great story – I particularly enjoyed the Sunday morning brunchers and I’m surprised, at 9 cm dilated, they even bothered to turn the taps on for the birth pool!! I hope I have one like this with my second!