09 Feb, 2018
I’m back. I think I’m definitely back! I want to write again.
Back in November 2017 I got this same feeling and wrote a post (which I will share below) about not being so scared and all the reasons I should blog. Ironically I was too scared to post it!
But now I have the confidence to get back on the pony (think more beach side donkey than a thorough-bred race-horse – loveable but not so competitive) and write my silly, funny, sad, honest posts again. Whatever I feel compelled to write. But from now on it’s going to be 100% me and no more of this professional blogging stuff…and I’ll write more about why I really stopped blogging in due course.
But for now, I will explain why I’m starting again!
Earlier this week I was corralled by own brain (it had started writing a blog post whenever I went for a dog walk or was doing errands) to write a “coming out post” about my relationship with alcohol. I was then heavily encouraged by my lovely friend Emily (who I met originally through this blog – read her birth story here – and now our sons are besties and in the same school class!) to post this story on Facebook.
I have felt every wave of emotion this week. From warm fuzzy cuddles via all the lovely comments to utter terror at being so open and vulnerable for all the world to see (oh god, even my postman has ‘liked’ it type feelings). But something about that vulnerability has given me the confidence to get going again.
That, and Emily…
“What’s the next steps then?! Don’t lose your momentum!”
So, Em, this is for you…my thoughts that I should have posted 3 months ago.
I’m Back – November 2017
When I wrote my last post 18 months ago, I didn’t think it would take me this long to decide to blog again. I’ve thought about it a bit but I’ll be honest, it really wasn’t that much. For ages I didn’t think I’d ever feel the urge to write again.
But last week something changed.
I was lying on the sofa with a cold and feeling pretty miserable. I couldn’t face watching another movie so I decided to do some journalling instead.
This isn’t something I do. For starters I can’t write with a pen anymore! Do you know what I mean? After about 5 minutes my hand cramps up and the words become unintelligible. That’s probably fortunate because I also can’t spell.
Anyway, I sat and wrote some stuff. 3 whole pages of stuff! And, when I came back to reread it, I liked what I read. It brought clarity to my thoughts, the ones that normally swim around my head in a random fashion.
The next day I was poking around on Pinterest and came across an article called “what living a simple life has taught me“. It really made me think about my life, what I spend my time doing and what I’m interested in. So I wrote some more stuff.
I realised I have no hobbies beyond reading diet and self-help books!
I have so much opportunity around me and I just don’t make the most of it.
This naturally brought me to blogging.
I used to love blogging.
Reading things (diet and self-help books, of course) and then sharing my take.
Making little videos.
Trying to take decent photos.
Documenting my projects.
It motivated me to get things done and try new ideas. Even if I sucked at them.
I realised that the only reason I’m not blogging is because I’m scared of what people will think of me.
That’s a pretty dumb thing to be scared of.
All I can be is myself and not everyone can like me. PLUS NO ONE REALLY CARES!!
(While looking for a no-one cares quote I came across this fantastic article, No one Cares, So Do What You Want. Sums up and quashes my fears perfectly!)
So, I did a pros and cons of blogging.
The pros list was a hell of a lot longer.
Cons involved things like having to make some space on my hard drive because my laptop is full. I believe that’s just called laziness?
I have so much to gain from blogging
From motivation, to clarity of thoughts, to connecting with my friends, to accountability.
And, I realised that I’ve missed it.
There’s so much that I’ve forgotten (up until an hour ago I’d forgotten how to even put up a post) but I can relearn along the way.
For now I want to do some writing and to put it in my husband, Mike’s words ‘nothing bad can come from writing’.