I struggled a bit with my blog this week as Monday and Tuesday was our ‘properly closing down the business’ days. I wasn’t feeling sad about it until we sat going through all the shit (aka stuff we loved and thought one day we might use!) we had accrued over 2 and a half years, and reminiscing about all the fun we had had. It was hard work towards the end but I was working with my best friend, who I got to see everyday, and even when we were mad at each other we would still end up laughing our heads off at some point during the day. Now we have to make lunch dates and plan to see each other. So that all sort of hit home on Monday, which meant I wasn’t in the greatest of moods for writing a blog but after a hunt for some inspiration, this is when I wrote this rather sad post:
This week I am 12 weeks pregnant and I haven’t had a look at the pregnancy week-by-week development websites for a while, so I thought I would check it out to see how my baby bean is getting along. I quite like i-am-pregnant.com for this so here’s what they say…
The crown-to-rump length of your growing baby is almost 2.5 inches and she now weighs between 8 and 14 grams! In just three weeks, fetal size has more than doubled and begins to look a lot more human. Even though you will not be able to feel your baby moving at this time, you can stimulate him and he will squint, open his mouth and move his fingers or toes.
Awww… There is also a section below for comments so I was having a little look to see what people who are at the same stage as me are saying. It seems I’m really lucky not to be suffering with morning sickness! I also spotted a lot of really sad comments from people about miscarriages – one in particular comment really stuck out as it was a) really heartbreaking and b) something that hadn’t even crossed my mind as something that could happen. What happened was the lady went for her first scan and discovered that her baby had died. She had no reason to suspect anything, even her morning sickness had remained the same (and still continues now). It is really sad.
I found out late last week that my first scan will be on 8th February, so just over a week away. My main fear has been am I still pregnant? I haven’t had any symptoms for a good few weeks, and so I worry that when I get to the scan there won’t be anything in there.
I think it’s natural that pregnant women worry what might happen so our imaginations go wild. Then further adding other people’s horror stories to our own fears really isn’t good for positive thinking during a time when we should be excited. I think it is important to do positive visualisation as I believe that you get more of what you focus on. So instead of worrying what might happen I am going to get excited about it – after all what will be, will be.
Then I left it at that because I couldn’t work out how to say ‘it’s important not to worry’ without sounding flippant about someone else’s trauma. Hopefully you can see what I was trying to get at.
Since then I have cheered up dramatically. We took everything out of the office yesterday, which was sad but it does close the chapter and allows us to move on. So now, I have the more pressing issue of being surrounded by all my belongings from the office, for example, I now have a bright red stripy sofa in the middle of my bedroom (in front of the clothes I still need to sort after last week’s Gok-attack. I feel like a fraud!) and a giant box of illume balloons, which I’ve put on eBay (please buy some!), in the middle of my kitchen. I also have a selection of, what can only really be described as, knick-knacks in boxes in the living room. After reading this lovely blog post by Heart Homes about Lucyina Moodie, I have been inspired to go get it sorted. Look how beautiful this room is….
And, here’s her quick tips for interior design updates:
De-clutter, have a change around. Paint an accent wall. Inject a splash of colour with a few scatter cushions. Mix things up. Don’t be afraid; you can always put it back to the way it was if you don’t like it.
I’m taking it as a direct message to me: De-clutter – it’s in my Mission for gawd sakes so be gone knick-knacks!; Have a change around – time to get my clothes sorted and the sofa moved from the middle of the room. As for injecting colour and adding cushions, we’ll come to that… Baby steps first, then I’ll consider getting out the sewing machine!