Over the last 3 evenings we’ve been watching the last 3 Harry Potter movies. Mike and Reuben had not seen them (or read the books), so we’ve really been enjoying doing that as a family. Bloody love HP – I read all the books when I was in my early 20s and had caught up by the publication of the Deathly Hallows. Loved the stories and it’s all hugely inspiring. The only trouble for me is that I’ve got a bit of comparisonitus!
Little digs keep popping into my head like:
‘My book will never be as good as HP.’
‘People are going to laugh at me.’
‘This is all pointless.’
Etc. you get the gist. Sometimes it’s not even words it’s more a feeling, a feeling of the pointlessness of it all. Why even try?! Steven Pressfield talks about this in his books and calls it Resistance (with a capital R)*.
Thankfully, I’ve done enough on my book now to not give up, however painful it feels at times and however much it feels like I’m trying to get blood out of a stone. I have to show the feelings and mean words who’s boss and keep ploughing on regardless.
- I think it’s perfectly acceptable to know and accept my book will not be as good as the most successful children’s books ever written, but that doesn’t mean it will be bad. Comparison is bad but a little competitive spirit is good – it keeps you striving to do the best you can.
- People may well laugh at me. They might even be doing so now. It doesn’t matter. I’m having a go and putting myself out there. And that is all you can ask of yourself.
- And life is as pointless or point-ful (not a word but you know what I mean!) as you choose to make it. I’m choosing point-ful!
Whatever happens I’m going to finish Frog Boy and I’m going to learn a lot in the process: how to write a book; the history of northumberland; hell, I was even learning about Faberge Eggs the other day; and, most of all, myself.
And, something I’ve already learnt about myself is that I am happiest when I make time everyday to write. Confidence grows when you do the thing that scares you, even if it’s just a little bit everyday.