13 May, 2014
Yep, tomorrow is Mike and my anniversary – 3 whole years of marriage. Happy Anniversary baby!
5 years ago today I met Mike (properly. We had met once before, and I totally fancied him, but it was awkward and I thought he was someone else). It really was one of those eyes meeting across the room moments. We were at the opening party for an annual conference, and rather than networking, I spent the rest of the evening talking to Mike. We were virtually inseparable from that moment on. 12 months later we were living together, 6 months after that he proposed (under duress) and 6 months and a day after that (are you keeping up?) we were married on a gloriously sunny day in May! On our 1st wedding anniversary I put together a post about the actual day, with lots of photos if you click on that link.
I love my husband very much. We still get on so well, he’s my best friend and we hardly ever fall out, which in some respects is quite lucky considering the whirlwind nature of our relationship and the fact we were still getting to know each other! So, I guess 3 years in this is when it starts to become harder…we do know each other now and we have seen each other at our very best and our very worse (giving birth was probably both of those moments!!).
And, obviously day to day life for the two of us isn’t what it was – we spent the first 2 and half years of our relationship pretty much partying, so once I got pregnant and after a baby, that was going to change!
I know it’s normally called the 7 year itch but, while reading around what to write for this post, I came across this interesting article by therapist, Michael Kimmel, called The 3 Year Itch. In it he says that relationships start to become ‘boring’ around the 3 year mark!! He says:
“I’ve noticed that after about three years’ together, many couples hit a wall called “boredom”. It often manifests in the following ways:
- You become bored with yourself, your life, your job;
- You let your social life (with your partner and on your own) fade away;
- Your sex life with your partner becomes almost non-existent;
- You let yourself go (gaining weight, not exercising, eating poorly); and
- You take your partner for granted.”
I don’t want to give anything away but I can relate with a few of those! I can really recommend reading Michael’s article because he goes on to talk about boredom being a mask for fear and WHY you shouldn’t scratch the itch (and look for someone new!) because long-term relationships are a challenge but the benefits are immeasurable!
Now…I wasn’t intending this joyful day to be overshadowed by an itch or boredom or fear! I know that Mike is my soulmate but I also know that being in a longterm relationship is hard. This is the longest relationship either of us has ever had, so we’re now in new territory. But I’m not about to start getting itchy! Any problems we have are things that we will work through together. I made a vow to do so, after all, and I meant it. This is more just a reminder that it is going to get harder but working at it, together, will be the glue that keeps us stuck together forever. Cheeeeeese!
Are you ready Mike? I love you so, so much. Happy Anniversary xxxxxxx
p.s. this is in place of a card 😉