I’ve mentioned it before many times (here, here and here to name a few) that Reuben is a fussy eater. He’s just got worse too as he now won’t eat the little Annabel Karmel pasta shells I used to be able to hide veg and meat sauces in. It has been a LONG time since he was willing to eat the quinoa dishes I used to make him or snack on avocado. How I miss the days when people used the take the piss out of me for feeding him such healthy dishes!
Now he will eat toast or a sandwich (but mainly picks out the filling unless it’s something like cream cheese), scrambled eggs, porridge (“podge” as he calls it) or fruit. He’ll also eat nearly all junk food (as long as it doesn’t have any nutritional content, so fish fingers are out) and LOVES cake/chocolate/biscuits/dried fruit/cereal/sugary-ness.
And, yes, it does make me cry from time to time! But then I read something that reminds me that it is just a stage and if I’m consistent, he should come out the other side agreeing to eat more than just a turkey twizler. I must stay strong!
So I’ve done a bit of research and put together a list of ways for ME to cope with my fussy eater…
How to cope with a fussy eater in 6 steps
1. Relax!
a) He’s growing. He’s healthy. And apparently his little stubborn body is making sure he gets everything he needs.
b) He can definitely tell when I’m anxious. I need to stop pacing around him being obviously anxious as, according to Super Nanny, this causes stubbornness and anger in your little one. I can concur.
c) Super Nanny also says getting angry can have a lingering impact on your child for many meal times to come so concentrate on keeping calm (or learn how to calm down if you do get angry) and don’t take it personally!
2) Plan
a) Everywhere you look about fussy eating you are told that you need to eat with your children. Breakfast and lunch doesn’t seem to be a problem for us but dinner is. If I’m going to do eat with Reuben, I need to plan ahead so that I have healthy meals that are varied and delicious for me too. (As opposed to what normally happens at about 4:30 – I panic and make him a fruit and toast selection. Again.)
b) Make time to do it together – Reuben loves to make juice and will drink it regardless of what is put in – spinach, cucumber, kiwi. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll start to eat a salad if he helped to put the chopped up ingredients in a bowl and stirred if for a while???
c) play with food – I’ve mentioned before some research by Ella’s Kitchen that kids who play with vegetables (but not fruit) are more likely to eat it at meal times. I’m thinking an edible sensory box?
3) Don’t spend more than 10 minutes prepping – kind of goes a little against point 2 but I like this idea (again from Super Nanny) as I’ll be less frustrated if something doesn’t get eaten but also the healthiest things tend to take less time to prep anyway!
4) Accept it for now – a lot of advice out there is for people with toddlers who can be reasoned with…for example, Parenting says to give them one thing they will eat every meal time and say to have 1 bite of everything else. Great idea as this over time will get them to develop a taste for the other things. However, despite my best efforts, Reuben isn’t at the reasoning stage. I encourage, Reuben even says the word “try” but nothing passes his lips. I shall persevere but I’m not yet sure when I can say to him ‘just 1 bite’ and he’ll do it.
5) Encourage but don’t push – as mentioned in the point above, encouraging is good. However, I have been known to try and put food in his mouth in the hope he might taste it and realise how yummy it is. This is totally the worse thing I could ever do and results in a tantrum, which is upsetting for both of us. Live it, learn it and stop trying to do it again!
6) And if it does turn into a disaster, don’t feel guilty – Baby Centre says this happens from time to time but you should learn from the experience and approach the next meal time with positivity.
I feel calmer already! Do you have any tips for coping with a fussy eater that might help me cope?!
YOU AND I NEED TO CHAT!! I’ve lived through picky eater hell with my son!! I’m now the calmest, coolest, you don’t wanna eat that? Fine don’t eat it! Mom there is , but this wasn’t always the case.
We should swap strategies and tips, and I can give you a whole list of things to try that are super easy to prepare (so that if he doesn’t eat/try/look at it you don’t feel like you’ve slaved away. And I say USE the fact that he will eat stuff between two pieces of bread to your advantage. I can also give you my list of gourmet and east to eat fussy toddler sandwich recipes.
I can also relate to you “if I can just get it in his mouth” strategy, and I agree it never goes well, and a few times it went REALLY bad, but that’s the past so don’t worry about it. I really enjoyed this post, thank you so much for sharing.
I think you made a really valid point when you said to not stress and let them know that it bothers you! Best strategy in my experience is to pretend that you couldn’t care less if they eat it or not. If it’s something new I say she has to try a few mouth fulls before there is any pudding and if it’s something i know she actually likes then she can either leave it if she’s full (but no pudding) or she eats it all and gets pudding if still hungry. Works most of the time! Xxx
Ah yes, fussy eaters, I feel like I know this path! My kids are unusual in that they’ve never refused veg or fruit. My first was (see I said WAS!!) a nightmare with carbs and meat until she was about 5. I really tried everything, making it fun, staying relaxed, involving her, making it look pretty/bright/funny interesting. And then bit by bit she got better. Now she will try most things and is not a problem. I’m still working on number 2, who is now 5 herself. She loves fruit & veg, and eats wholewheat pasta and brown rice, and baked beans but the real issue is meat and fish or other forms of protein (other than parmesan cheese!). I have managed to get her to eat almonds, and even tried experimenting with veggie alternatives. Currently we aren’t making much headway! I just take comfort from the fact she is not at all interested in chips and macdonalds and hope eventually she’ll come round like her sister! Over the years (oldest is 8 now) I have found usually just when you think you can’t take anymore and have invested time in devising a new wonder strategy, they change of their own accord and before long it’s barely a memory! Good luck!
Thank you Vanessa!! You’re so right and I can imagine that all I’ll remember of this period is how cute he was. I’ve said before to people that the saying ‘food is for fun before 1’ is being extended in our house to when he starts school because I honestly think it might take that long. At least if I plan for that long, I won’t be too disappointed!Good luck with yours too and thank you so much for your comment xxx
I love this post. I recently had a reader that wanted to know what to feed her kiddos- you can read about it here-http://amominneedofadvice.blogspot.com/2014/03/why-fight-it.html
I’m going to send her the link to your site. This will help her and many others in a BIG way. I struggle most days of the week with this. I found your site at #AllAboutYou link and pin party. LOVE IT!
Thanks Kristina – I’m glad you found it useful and I hope your reader does too! I’m still battling on with it although now I know he’s getting what he needs in general it’s not a battle anymore! Today we had soup (it was delicious!)…Reuben ate his toast and he actually licked a piece of bread that he dipped in the soup. He then went on to play with the soup, spooning it to the bowl with his bread in. Well, it felt like progress to me!! Thanks for stopping by xx
Not stressing is so key, the lesser the deal, the better and more positive you and importantly baby will feel. My first son was and still is pretty fussy with food (now 4) but my second eats everything, always has done. I treated both the same and I offer new, exciting foods to both constantly! Brilliant post #allaboutyou