Well it’s been 2 weeks since my last post. Even straight after having a baby I blogged more than this!
I guess the combination of Christmas with the anniversary of finding out I was pregnant has rendered me speechless! Often it’s Mike who goes into his Christmas grump but comes out the other side quoting Delboy “…this time next year…”!
Now it’s my turn. Even before I started over-indulging, I had started to contemplate my new existence and have been thinking over and over how I would articulate it in a post. I’ve never had a plan. When I finished Uni I was offered a job without looking for one, so I didn’t need to think about that. Then I had a fun (read drunk) night with best pal Alex and our business was born and we did that for 3 years. Then I got pregnant and we shut the business down and I was going to do that, be a mum. Now, as I come out of the new mum haze and my new mum pals are preparing themselves for going back to work within the next few months, I realise I am not.
I had a little melt down about this a few weeks ago – I had envisaged staying at home with baby, filling our days with mum things; parks and cake and coffee and play groups. Nice as all that is, I can’t help but feel like I’m not achieving anything. And whilst I’m trying to work out what I want to do with myself, I have to battle with the feelings of guilt and selfishness that I’m not content to just be a mum. Mike sent me a lovely message telling me I was doing a great job with Reuben, there is no hurry to work out what it is I want to do and he would support me…The world is my oyster, as they say, and it is terrifying!
I don’t know what my New Years resolutions are yet – cutting it a bit fine, I know! – Right now I feel like I have a million resolutions, lose weight, blog more, declutter my stuff, in fact all the things I wrote about in my first ever blog posts! Nothing changes except I now have a baby and a big sense of responsibility. I guess January is all about taking stock, remembering what I have achieved this year and what I have to be thankful for, and working out what is important. Then I’m sure I’ll put together a few resolutions – I’ve been advised to go for 1 achievable and 10 unachieveable! Shouldn’t be hard.
I hope you’ve all had a wonderful Christmas, thank you for reading my self indulgent musings over the last year and Happy 2013!
Love Hannah xxxx
P.s. please do share any resolutions you have – it might inspire me too!