I’m finally blogging! I’ve managed to get Reuben to go to sleep in his sling, so I sit here writing whilst trying to not drop chickpeas on his little head – got to multitask!
I love Reuben so much but it turns out having a newborn baby is no walk in the park… in fact even walking in the park has lost its charm since my little nipper isn’t massively keen on sleeping in his pram. As you can tell from the amount I’m blogging, these last few weeks have been fun – I’ve not had the brain capacity to blog, tweet, facebook, basically anything involving words and reading has been a struggle (If anyone was on my blog yesterday you would have seen that I managed to publish this post in the morning despite the fact I hadn’t even remotely finished it). In fact it’s all been about survival and I’ve only just realised that this is pretty much how it’s going to be until he’s at least 3 months old. An NCT friend found this great blog post that sums up life with a Newborn Baby and made me realise I’m in this for the long haul (well, at least the first 3 months and if my friends’ cheery comments are anything to go by, even longer!). The first line sums it up…seriously read it, it’ll cheer you up if you’re in the same no man’s land as me: “A “newborn” and a “baby” are two completely separate creatures. All new parents who tell you how awesome parenthood is, this is because they now have a baby, and have forgotten what it was like having a newborn”.
If I look on the bright side (apart from being lucky enough to have a beautiful baby, of course), I’d say it’s been interesting to discover a few things about myself. For example, at the moment I rank sleep as more important than eating or drinking. I always thought they were level. Another NCT friend pointed me towards the sleep lady. Yes, she’s real and to quote my new guru: “Sleep is not a luxury or a sign of weakness!”
Amen sista. This blog post in particular was really useful to me as it helped me articulate to Mike how much I was struggling from lack of sleep. Now he’s helping out more to make sure I at least get that precious 3 hours straight! Send the link to your loved one (and then stand over them to make sure they read it and absorb all the information!). Here’s a little summary though:
- Take sleep seriously – Done. Sleep deprivation can affect everything from your mood to your milk supply
- Don’t sleep when baby sleeps – an interesting one as it’s what everyone recommends…it worked well to begin with as he would actually sleep during the day in his cot, now if I put him down he very rarely sleeps for a while. He’ll either wake immediately or wake within 10 minutes so if I do try to sleep in the hope it’s one of his rare sleeps, I spend ages lying there expecting him to wake and if I do nod off he then wakes up without fail! So her advice is to get someone to watch the baby, asleep or otherwise, so you can actually relax and get to sleep. Heaven.
- Don’t routine your baby’s sleep – Thank god she said that I’ve spent weeks worrying about trying to get the Reubster into a routine and just getting myself worked up. For at least the first 12 weeks you’ve got to go with the flow and make sure you get enough sleep!
- Create a mum-cave – this is a heavenly place to go to shut yourself off from everything baby so you can rest. You will need: ear plugs, blackout blinds (or eyeshades if you don’t have), comfy, comfy bedding, and a book if you need to get your mind off babe. Oh the luxury!!
- Get help – I can’t paraphase as this was so beautiful and perfect it made me cry so here it is in all it’s glory: “I don’t care if two weeks before birth you were running a Fortune 500 company by yourself or covering the six war zones simultaneously for ABC NEWS. Being a new mother is, hands down, harder in many ways. And yes, your mother raised 14 kids by herself without a hair out of place, and yes your husband has “a real job” where he can’t fall asleep at his desk. But staying home with a baby full time is a “real job”, too. A 24/7, no week-ends, holidays, sick days or breaks at the water cooler kind of real job. Hiring a babysitter or a mother’s helper to watch the baby while you nap in the afternoon is key to surviving the first six months or so. Yes, baby sitters cost money but so did that nifty stroller. Trust me, (I’ve been through it three times) paying for some sleep is one of the smartest investments you can make in the future happiness and well being of the entire family.”
Moving on, I have also discovered that I am the opposite of a domestic goddess. To be honest, this is no surprise but I am surprised by the extent. I have no interest in house work or baking cakes or any of those house proud things. I’ll happily leave clothes ‘dryin’ for a week and that B&Q advert (“I did this”) is totally lost on me. It does, however, make me feel guilty and get me down if the house is a mess so I do housey things with the precious little time I have to myself and hate every minute of it wishing I was doing one of my mum missions:
1. To exercise
2. To prepare nice healthy food
3. To blog
1 and 2 are both obviously in the hope of getting my body back or actually I’d quite like to get be better body back. I decided while I was happily pregnant and unable to do anything about it that I wanted to look more like Jodie Marsh – i.e. body build and drink loads of protein shakes! I’ve sky plussed Jodie Marsh: Brawn in USA so I can get inspiration/motivation to work out and eat cleanly and while I have managed to get to the gym a few times, the only thing I have in common with Jodie is massive knockers.
The blogging side of things is something I still really want to do – I’ve really enjoyed blogging throughout my pregnancy and I want to keep this up. There are 2 main issues with this. Firstly, time. Secondly, what on earth do I blog about?! Before it was pretty simple, I blog about pregnancy! Now I have a baby and to be honest I have lost my blog identity. Is it about me? Him? And does what I write now make what I’ve written previously irrelevant?! I had thought I would write about how I get Jodie Marsh’s body back.
From this…
…to this
But is that even interesting? In any case it all comes back to time. Time to sleep, time to get fit and time to blog. All while looking after my hansom little chappy!
If you have any thoughts on what you’d like me to talk about, what might be of interest to you, what you liked previously, etc. please let me know as my baby brain needs your help!!
Yours sleepily xxxx
p.s. I should say we have a cleaner who I love to bits – she comes in for 2 hours a week to hoover, do the bathroom, kitchen, that kind of thing and we’ve just decided we want her to come in twice a week for 1 and a half hours each time. You might think that makes me a bad mother/wife but I personally worship the ground she walks on and think it’s the best £30 I spend!
10 comments
Ally on 10-4-2012 at 5:50 pm
I found your blog yesterday and have spent much of the last day reading your whole blog! I’m 14 1/5 weeks pregnant and found it really useful. I know I’m going to be popping back over the coming months! Where did you get your baby sling from? I’m keen to breast feed if I can but don’t want to be hampered by being embarrassed so the idea of a sling really appeals. Looking forward to gearing more about how you and your gorgeous little man get on
hannah on 10-11-2012 at 8:03 am
Hi Alley, thanks so much for your comment – 14 1/5 weeks pregnant? Vey specific
I hope it’s going well for you and I’m really sorry I’ve gone from an positive preggo to a miserable mama! I’m working on it. To answer your question, the sling was given to me but it’s called a Babasling. It’s great for public feeding but I’d say the main issue with public feeding is that you are stressed out and baby picks up on that so it is much harder to get latched on. The sling doesn’t really help with this and in some ways makes it more difficult a – I ended up just wapping my naps outin themiddle of the park in the end as he wasn’t happy and it was stressing me out…. Now I’m more comfortable with public feeding it’s so much easier both with and without the sling. Just relax and get your boobs out I say!! Thanks again and keep checking to let me know how you’re getting on! Xx
Jade on 10-5-2012 at 5:07 am
Oh Hannah, have been checking every stupid o’clock am for your next post (now 6am). Wanted to tweet & say how much I missed your blogging but you do not need the pressure! I am now 13 days away from due date & although have been ready for some time, I feel I still need these extra 13 days. Maybe it’s a psychological thing? I for one do not have any preferences on your material, all I know is the insightful humorous posts have kept me entertained for the last few months and I eagerly anticipate every next one! As you say time is so precious when newborn arrives I doubt I’ll have time to blog watch for updates but who knows, I think I will need them to get me through the dark hours! The main thing is you’re all healthy & happy! Plus we can sleep when they are teenagers right?!
hannah on 10-11-2012 at 8:08 am
Aw, hiya Jade, thanks so much for the boost
it’s nice to know y like my posts and encourages me to keep going! Shit, looking at the dates you might have had your baby, hopefully not just yet as you do need the extra time to relax post work and pre baby. Really good luck Hun, you’ll be amazing! Let me know how it goes xxx
Ania on 10-6-2012 at 10:35 am
I hear you hannie, every last word! Without doubt those first months to one year are the toughest. All of a sudden that tiredness hits and then spirals into a desperation for five mins here and there. I remember falling asleep on the floor next to lui on his playgym and e would squeak or giggle next to me and wake me every 2-3 secs. Like Chinese torture!! Great idea to have someone watch him whilst you rest. Wecan do that for you when we come to visit
And definitely havig a cleaner makes you a bloody excellent mother/wife! As you will have more energy to focus on more important things!
As for feeling less tired and refreshed…I’m still
Waiting for that day. That said it definitely does get easier after a few months.
I rekon carry on blogging as honestly as you have been about life with a newborn challenges and milestones. So many people have that ‘amazing experience’ of a newborn. Personally I preferred the people who, like you and I, would tell it like it really is. Warts and all
As ever, chin up you amazing mummy xxx
hannah on 10-11-2012 at 8:13 am
Yay! Thanks, Annie, for all your support and words of encouragement. Serious respect, dude, for having not 1 but 2 (albeit accidentally!) in such a short space of time – you’re an inspiration! I’m only sorry it’s taken me until one to realise how hard it must have been for you and for not being in touch more to give similar words of encouragement. If you have another, I’ll be there all the time
xx
Ellie on 10-6-2012 at 12:27 pm
Anyone who says it was different for them to how you describe is a complete liar! The closet thing I can describe the first 20 weeks (for me) is hell on earth. My heart loved her to bits but my head, brain, sense was lost in wave upon wave of panick/stress/tiredness and not knowing when one day ended and another began. Even now, if someone says ‘sleep when baby sleeps’ I can feel my blood boiling! It was actually impossible! Gradually we got into a routine, a new routine, a new way of life, I accepted there was no going back to the old me, physically, mentally or the old ‘us’ with the other half. My baby is 2 now, and blows me away 50 times a day and more. She is incredible. And in comparison to the first 4 months, it’s a doddle! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. You’re not the first and won’t be the last. xXx
hannah on 10-11-2012 at 8:17 am
Thanks, as ever, Ellie, I’m so glad it gets better, it’s just a shame they are such hard work when they’re this small because they’re so cute npbut you end up wishing the time away! X
Sarah on 10-11-2012 at 10:16 am
Hi Hannah, I’ve followed your blog since I first found out I was pregnant (now 20 weeks). I’ve loved every post and looking forward to hearing about your experiences as a new mum. This post really opened my eyes to the truth about newborns and I will feel less a failure now when the time comes. Only problem, my house is already a tip (pre-baby), how will it look post-baby?!… time to consider a cleaner!
hannah on 10-11-2012 at 11:24 am
God love the cleaner!! Definitely the way to go, Sarah, we’ve had a cleaner for months. I did feel a bit guilty as I was on maternity leave but it worked for us – Mike prefers me happier! Glad you like the blog and my new melancholy tone hasn’t put you off pre-baby
help and lots of it, that’s all you need and you’ll be fine xx keep checking in and letting me know how it’s going…for example are you still exercising? Xx