Two things for you today.

Firstly, it is time to talk about weight gain… this morning Mike came down the stairs looking extremely spritely and happy with himself (very impressive given the 4 or 5 hours sleep he had) and announced he has lost half a stone – how depressing! Especially as it seems that in order to keep the weight equilibrium in the house I am putting that weight on. I think dieting when your wife is on a long haul trip to fatdom is just rude. Anyway, I really want to spend some time over the weekend looking at eating plans that help you maintain your weight much longer while stopping your hunger pangs and getting myself set up for the week…I will of course share, probably on Sunday.

Secondly, I had my bikini done today. I said I would and I did. Now, I am not exaggerating when I say this was THE most painful experience of my entire life – this is the first time I have ever sworn while getting it done and I literally begged her to just leave the other side. But thankfully she said things like ‘No,’ ‘what would your husband say?’ and ‘pull yourself together.’ It was good and she was a trooper. Respect.

There were two major issues that caused this 1) the last time I had it done was in June – eek, embarrassing and 2) I shouldn’t have shaved in between. But I also think there is a secret third cause of the pain… one of those pregnancy symptoms, of course. I’ve not looked into this so you readers will probably say, well yes, everyone knows that. But I did not know this and it was a horrific awakening. Despite the pain, I’m going to persevere in the name of tackling the impending hairiness head on, so I have booked myself in for 6 weeks time. It should hopefully not hurt as much (if it does, that’s it, bush all the way to bday) because the hair will be short and thin, and I won’t have shaved. And, by God, I’m taking some paracetamol before I go. Any other tips, please share them as a matter of muff and death.