My best buddy has just come back from a two week holiday in Japan. I am so glad that she was able to go, it was about time that she could go on such an amazing holiday! And she fell in love with the place, as I knew she would. But after talking about it with her yesterday, yes I’m jealous, who wouldnt be?! But it also suddenly hit me, I can’t go on a holiday like that again. Not until I’m older. Quite a bit older! And will I even want to go then? I hope so.
Firstly, I am so happy with my situation. I love my family, I love being a mum. I feel incredibly lucky.
But, I also love travelling! I spent most of my twenties abroad. I studied in Singapore for a year, travelling as much of South East Asia as I could. My brother has lived in Japan for the best part of the last 12 years so I’ve visited him on numerous occasions and lived with him in Tokyo for 2 months at the end of 2008 while I ‘worked’ at Tokyo University. I’ve also been lucky enough to go to China and the US, and I just loved it all. I left every city wanting to live there.
Just before I met Mike I was planning to apply for a PhD (or more likely just get a job) in America. It’s so funny to think back to that. And, now my holidays involve the words ‘all-inclusive’ and ‘kids disco’. A far cry from travelling the mountains of Vietnam on a motor bike with a guitar I couldn’t really play! (What a dork!)
Anyway, I just thought I’d have a little reminisce and remind myself how much I love travelling. I’d forgotten and Alex awoke that in me.
I have been quietly thinking about travelling with the kids. India or Morocco perhaps. But I’m scared now! I’m scared something might happen to them. We could have all gone to Kenya with Mike but I didn’t want to risk taking Reuben while he was still so little. We had also thought about going to see my brother in Japan this spring but that fell by the wayside. Who wants to spend 12 hours plus on a plane with a 20 month old? Not I!
But hello?! Life is short. And carpe diem appears to have died in me. I’ve become one of those mothers who use their kids as an excuse not to do things. Yes, it’s slightly more hassle to do things with a wriggling, sometimes screaming toddler, but really? Is this how I want to live? I don’t think so!
OK, a bit heavy for a Tuesday night, but do you see what I’m getting at?