You may find this appalling but I pride myself on my ability to avoid paying any attention to the news – yes, this sometimes means I have no idea what’s going on BUT it means I get to filter what I do find out about, thus avoiding things that’ll upset me, particularly with my current delicate constitution.
However, I can’t control what other people tell me and recently I’ve been caught out a few times. A few weeks ago I mentioned I was getting neurotic (37 weeks pregnant – neurotic) and this was after I was told about a blogger in Fife who lost her newborn baby a day after she was born. I have been worrying about this ever since. Then yesterday, I had managed to avoid the news that Gary Barlow’s 4th child had been still born until some pals came over. Despite my double plea for them not to tell me whatever sad thing they were going to tell me, they did anyway.
I woke up this morning 40 weeks pregnant on my due date, with a weird feeling. Kind of like it was my Birthday, but also apprehensive. And, after watching the Australian men win some kind of boat race on the Olympics, that was it I was in floods of tears and thoughts of Gary Barlow and Blogger Debbie filled my head with fear. The fear was mainly about the baby being still born but also that the birth would be horrendous, I wouldn’t be able to cope with the pain, I couldn’t see my image of Mike and I being really close and working through it together, etc. etc. Perhaps a C-section would be better after all? And, all this time worrying about stretch marks and perennials and not putting on weight, how selfish am I?! – I just want my baby out safely!
Thankfully Mike had been up all night working so he was still in bed so I had a good cry with him and he calmed me down and decided to stay at home with me today (which felt like the nicest thing he could ever do!), then I listened to my Hypnobirthing CD and by mid-day I was feeling spritely, happy and positively excited about my sweep!
I was really pleased to go for my sweep as firstly it meant we could check that the baby was OK and secondly, find out how close I am…once my midwife did the sweep (not as uncomfortable as I was expecting but still not amazingly pleasant) she informed me that my cervix is only half thinned (she probably used some kind of medical lingo that I can’t remember) and she did have a bit of a sweep round but she’s prescribed me sex THREE TIMES A DAY. You heard! Unfortunately, so did Mike, and by the look on his face he’s going to take this ‘duty’ very seriously!
So that’s how my due date has gone so far – from utter despair to sex 3 times a day. This pregnancy lark is a roller coaster but the nice thing is that I now feel relaxed and calm. I’m not stressed that the sweep hasn’t started anything off yet and I’ve had a lovely day with my husband, which will be finished off tonight (not like that, you lot! Actually, it probably will, doctor’s orders…) with a romantic meal for 2 (at Firenze in Jesmond) – our final fling with freedom. You watch this baby be 2 weeks late now!
There I am: 40 weeks pregnant; post-sweep; baby looks settled for now!