Failure and ConfidenceMar 14, 2022
Drew is so right. For so long I felt like a massive failure. How come everyone else can do it but I couldn't?
But I've come to learn that just because you fail AT something, that doesn't make YOU a failure.
Failing is important.
It shows that you tried (In the aftermath I wondered if I tried hard enough, but therapy has shown me that, honestly, I really did try my very best and it wasn't enough).
You showed up. You gave it a go. And now there are lessons to learn.
What happens next is up to us. We can choose to curl up in a ball and never try anything again (and by all means do that for a while - I certainly did) or we can dust ourselves off, learn those lessons and move on with confidence and optimism as we step into our new freedom.
"Don't pretend to be anything or anyone -- simply take action. Do one small brave thing, and then enxt one will be easier, and soon confidence will flow. We know -- fake it till you make it sounds catchier -- but this actually works."
― Katty Kay, The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance – What Women Should Know
A huge thing I've had to learn through the process of my divorce is how to build my confidence back up. It was on the floor and when it came to certain things (finances and rebuilding my career in particular) I felt completely paralysed. I had all these ideas but I couldn't get started.
Over time (and with the help of therapy!) I've learnt to take baby steps and the magic is, taking action brought with it ... CONFIDENCE!