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Hannah: Welcome to Happily Ever After the podcast, which seems to talk about all sorts of different things. But one listener described it as the place where we talk about what everyone else is thinking, but maybe not saying out loud. I am your host, Hannah Harvey. I'm a writer and a parenting blogger at Mums Days dot com. That's M.U.M.S.D.A.Y.S dot com. If you wouldn't mind subscribing and leaving a review, that would be amazing because it basically means more people can find the podcast. And I also would really, really, really love to hear from you. So please could you contact me through Instagram @mumsdays? You can message me anything, really, but you know your stories of life and heartbreak or any thoughts you might have on the episode or any questions you want answering. And as always, you can find the details from this episode in the show notes.
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Hannah: Welcome to Happily Ever After. And we have basically very slowly eased into the New Year, haven't we?
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Katie: Certainly have.
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Hannah: And we thought we'd just do a little update and a catch up because this is actually the first time we've seen each other since before Christmas. Oh, hello. So how was your Christmas?
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Katie: Well, it was good in the end. If anybody has listened to the previous podcast where we talked about Christmas, they'll know that I wasn't looking forward to it very much. But in the end, I just stayed home, made some nice food, hung out with my boyfriend. It was delightful.
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Hannah: That sounds Lovely.
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Katie: How was yours?
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Hannah: It was really nice, actually. Once I'd got over the stress of packing the car and getting making sure that the Barbie house fit in the car and all that. And I could still get my children in the car, too. Yeah, it was just really nice. We turned up at my mum and dad's at like 1:00. Christmas was nearly ready. No, Christmas dinner was ready.
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Katie: That's what Christmas is about, let's be honest. Like it's all about the food.
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Hannah: Yeah. And especially my mum's like she does the best Christmas dinners. And I know it's been scientifically proven that your mum's cooking does something to you. Where no other food can ever be as good. Apparently.
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Katie: Yeah. That's a thing. Totally.
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Hannah: Yeah. The kids open their presents. We had dinner. We chilled, I ate all of, like, the chocolates and the yummy stuff.
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Katie: Nice. Yeah, that sounds good.
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Hannah: Oh, we watched The Smeds and The Smoos. Whatever that's called.
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Katie: Uh, what's that?
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Hannah: You know?!
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Katie: I don't have any children.
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Hannah: So every year the BBC does a. Like a Christmas. Well, it's not even a Christmas thing, but it's one of Julia Donaldson's books. So it started with the Gruffalo.
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Katie: Oh, yes. I know the Gruffalo.
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Hannah: And they've basically done one every year since. And I love them so much. Like the snail and the whale is one of my favourites and always makes me cry. But yes, so they did. It was the smeds and the smoos this year and it's like a tradition to just watch them and it was lovely.
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Katie: Oh, that sounds delightful. Yeah. That's what Christmas is about. Definitely more of them.
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Hannah: Yes. And it was a little bit stressful afterwards just because then we were driving and we were trying to fit in visiting family and it was great to see them. But, you know, when you're just like, I feel like we didn't think.
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Katie: That's what I don't like about it like too much back and forth, you know? But as long as you had a nice time anyway.
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Hannah: We did have a really lovely time. But I do think. I didn't realise how much I needed to just have a day or two in my house with the kids. Yeah. And like, when we finally came back, we literally spent all day just in the house. Playing with stuff. And then we did go for a swim at the end of the day, and that was really nice just to get out and get some fresh air. But yeah.
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Katie: I bet they really enjoyed those bits where they just got to come home and play with the toys as well, you know?
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Hannah: I think so. I think so. So yeah it was really lovely. And then I've been on holiday.
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Katie: Yes. Nice.
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Hannah: So we had New Year's Eve here and then I dropped the kids at the dads on the first at lunchtime, and then I went on holiday.
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Katie: And you feel well rested and. Ready to fight back.
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Hannah: Well. No, no.
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Katie: Well, me either.
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Hannah: So we were going to talk about, like, how we feel about New Year's resolutions. And I'm a big fan of
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Hannah: Hi Sean (we were broadcasting on instagram live, this is a participant joining us)
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Hannah: Yeah, I'm a big fan of a resolution, but I feel like. Yeah. I'm not sure actually this year.
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Katie: Yeah. Not big on the myself.
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Hannah: But I think that since, so Katie got me this book, it's called Burn Before Reading. For Christmas. This Katie.
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Hannah: And I think it's exactly what I needed to read because I think I get plenty of sleep and all that kind of stuff. But there's something in it and I'll read it, which is cool. Basically, the World Health Organisation. Acknowledged in 2019 that burnout is a thing.
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Katie: Totally is.
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Hannah: So this is what they say. It's burnout is a state of physical and emotional exhaustion. It can occur when you experience long term stress in your job or when you've worked in a physically or emotionally draining role for a long time. Common signs of burnout are feeling tired or drained most of the time, feeling helpless, trapped and/or defeated, feeling detached or alone in the world. Feeling overwhelmed. And I think I have Christmas burnout, rushing around and trying to make sure that the kids are okay. And then as soon as I dropped them off, I then was like feeling sad and like I miss them immediately and feeling guilty that I wasn't going on holiday with them and. So, yeah, it was a lovely holiday, really restful. But there were moments where I was like, Oh. Feeling a bit hopeless and like, I've got zero ideas. And yeah.
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Katie: I think like with all the, like we've got so much build-up to Christmas and we spend months and months preparing for it and then it's all over in a day and it's a bit of a like anti-climax in the end. And you almost need like a month in between December and the start of January to like, recover from it all. I think. It's a bit much.
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Hannah: It's a bit much. And we were saying we didn't really have chance to go. What was good with the year. So I don't know about you, but I have spotted lots of people who've written, like, their list of their books, their favourite books of the year. And I was like, Shit. I've definitely read books and I can't remember anything about them. And I just feel like something I would like to take into the New Year is documenting things better so that I can be like, Oh, I've achieved this and I've achieved that. And which is, I was saying like, I love the fact that we do these podcasts and do blogs because it's just a really good record of what you've actually achieved.
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Katie: Yeah, and we launch into January with like resolutions being top of the list and suddenly expecting ourselves to be much better people with a lot more resilience and willpower. And actually we should spend a bit of time celebrating what we've done the previous year. I think.
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Hannah: Surviving 2022.
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Katie: Yeah, exactly.
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Hannah: It's a big thing because it was stressful. But yeah, loads of great things came from it as well. And I think having that moment to be like, yeah, it was a good year and. Yeah. So do.. are you a resolution setter?
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Katie: So I am not like anti-resolution, but I never set them. And even even if I'm thinking about it, even if I'm like, well, maybe I'll do a resolution this year. I'm like, I don't stick to it. I don't even set it. But even if I did, I wouldn't stick to it. I know that I'm that kind of person. So for me, it's better to just like focus on the small things because that's what like, that's what I get a sense of achievement from. Have you set a resolution?
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Hannah: Have I? I've decided to set a word. So obviously we've talked about it and it's play So I'm just reading Kathryn's message said she's ditched resolutions a while back. Settled. More on intentions. Yeah I think that's it. And also not waiting for year end to make changes. Absolutely. I quit drinking in October, so like the 21st of October is just decided. Then you don't have to wait.
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Katie: No, you don't. That's right. And we shouldn't expect ourselves to suddenly be completely different people on the 1st of January.
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Hannah: Yeah. So, yeah, my intention is to play more, and I don't even know if that's the right word. Like, I'm wondering if explore would be better, but it doesn't have to be perfect, is it?
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Katie: No, it doesn't. That's right. And I think like setting something like you've kind of gone the opposite to me. You've gone really massively broad. It could be anything. I was going to read you my little to do list. This is this is the things that I like to think of as my resolutions and what I'm going to work on for the year. So I've written 'Need new bras Metrocentre'.
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Hannah: Ooo plural.
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Katie: I definitely need more than one new bra like it's been years. It's not okay anymore. I also got on here a note to get some stamps to go on a card for..
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Hannah: That's not a resolution.
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Katie: Exactly. This is what I mean. Like, I feel like you should tackle the small things first because I can't get myself some stamps to post a card to go to some friends who got married in June to congratulate them on the wedding.
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Hannah: Last June?
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Katie: Yeah. So and then the other one that's on here as well is haircut. So I had last, time I got my haircut, which will have been like six months ago now or something. I got my hairdresser to do an undercut, which is where like they shave the hair on one side and this is it now. So it's not my best look, I need to do something about that. First of all, do something about that and maybe secondly, make a resolution that I'm not going to get any more extreme haircuts that require upkeep. Because I can't do it.
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Hannah: So for anybody who can't see Katie right now, she's just got a really long flappy bit over here.
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Katie: It's quite sad.
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Hannah: It's like a fringe, but just a.
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Katie: Fringe for just the left hand side of my head.
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Hannah: Oh, that's sweet. What was it? There was something else about. Okay, yes. I hate chores. Like going to the post office. So if you physically I have some stamps, you can have one.
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Katie: Thank you.
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Hannah: Physically having a book of stamps in your house feels like you've removed one of the taxing things about sending letters.
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Katie: Yeah, and I guess that's just a simple thing. Maybe that needs to be my resolution to make my life a bit easier by having a book of stamps.
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Hannah: And fundamentally, what you're actually doing is you're wanting to contact more, you're wanting to connect with your friends more. And that's what that's about. So you want your book of stamps so that you can send the card to let them know that you're thinking of them and you care. That's the resolution, really, isn't it?
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Katie: That's true. But I think I feel like if I if my resolution is actually to make sure I kept up with my friends more, I'd be like, No, I'm not bothering with that.
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Hannah: Instead, it's like, I'll get a book of stamps and then we'll see what happens. Oh, that's lovely.
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Hannah: That's my instead of resolutions, I'm going to get a haircut and some bras.
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Hannah: Yeah, I get that. It's self care.
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Katie: Yeah, totally. Yeah.
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Hannah: I went to the dentist today and they were like, you need this bottle brush or whatever they call it in this thing. And I was like, It's January. I'm going to get them. Instead of being like, I'm going to go home and order it from Amazon and actually never, ever do it. Instead, I'm going to just buy it here because it's there and it's easy. So allowing yourself the ease of being like the permission to get something because it's easy and it's there.
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Katie: Yeah, because then you'll actually do it.
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Hannah: Yeah. Like my teeth deserve to be looked after.
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Katie: Yes they do.
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Hannah: Yes. They do. Very nice. Good. So I guess let's finish on what we consider. Oh no, there was one other thing that I wanted to read from this Burn Before Reading, which I loved. It's a lush little book, if you ever come across it. I would highly recommend.
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Katie: Published by The Pound Project, which I'm a big fan of.
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Hannah: Yeah. I was looking at all the other ones and they look great. But yes. So it starts on. Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes. Including you.
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Katie: Yeah, so true. Turn it off and back on again.
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Hannah: And the whole premise of the book is like using reading as a way to unplug, because I think, especially with what we do, we're constantly reading to get inspiration. Whereas sometimes you just want to read some trash and relax and get lost in a really riveting, maybe sexy story.
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Katie: Maybe sexy.
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Hannah: Which leads me nicely on to play and some of the things that I would quite like to do this year. One of which is. I don't really do much for play, I don't think. Maybe I'm playing all the time. I don't know.
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Katie: Yeah, but that's the intention. That's what we want to do, isn't it?
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Hannah: Yeah, I think what I mean by play is to do things that may be scare me, but take the pressure off by saying it's just for fun. Yeah. Like this Instagram live is just for fun. If it goes wrong, it doesn't matter if nobody watches it, it doesn't matter because we're still recording a podcast and it'll go live tomorrow and blah, blah, blah. It's just for fun and.
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Katie: I like it. I'm all for play.
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Hannah: Yeah. And it just.... *laughter*
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Hannah: We'll edit that, no one will know.
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Katie: We can't edit it!!
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Hannah: I'm all foreplay
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Katie: And this is the joy of being on Instagram Live, I suppose. I'm all for play/
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Hannah: Which leads nicely onto my other thing I wanted to....
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Hannah: Because I was talking, I was thinking about writing more and I thought, Oh, it'd be really quite fun to write a porno.
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Katie: And I have a feeling I'm somehow going to get sucked into this.
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Hannah: Stop using weird words!!
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Katie: I'm sorry. Get drawn into it.
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Hannah: Well, you can edit it.
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Katie: I don't want to.
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Hannah: Well don't then. It's all it's for me. It's for my for my playing. So I just want to just have a go at some stuff and it doesn't matter. If it goes wrong.
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Katie: Great. Including a porno.
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Hannah: Are you up for that?
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Hannah: Yeah. Like I'm going to join a choir I think as well. And I want to do some more singing.
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Hannah: Yeah. All right. Are we done?
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Katie: Well, we're going to talk about Dry January.
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Hannah: Oh, how are you getting on as well?
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Katie: Good. Yes, good. So Hannah's sober all the time. But I'm just experimenting with it for January. Right. For the podcast listeners, she's doing a halo around her head because she's an angel.
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Hannah: Yes I am.
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Katie: Yeah, it's good. So, like, Hannah has produced a Dry January journal, which I very much enjoying. I bound it because, of course I did. You know.
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Hannah: She makes books.
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Katie: I make books. But it's got some lovely prompts which help you, which obviously I've been using a lot (the diary is blank)
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Hannah: You're going to start this week because you've been at work.
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Katie: Yeah. And the idea is to document how you feel throughout Dry January and see if it makes you feel any different from not drinking. But I also think this is a nice one to follow through, even if you just want to tune in with yourself and see how you're doing. So that's available to download on the Mums' Days website if anybody wants to join in. I obviously haven't written in mine yet, so why don't you join in now with me as well?
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Hannah: Start on the 10th.
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Katie: Yeah. And in terms of not drinking, like there's so much like there's a lot of people doing it as well. I've heard about a lot of people. And their experiences of Dry January just from working in retail, because that's the kind of thing we chat about. And there was a customer in the shop the other day who said that they were going to put together all of the money that they saved from not spending it on alcohol and get something else nice instead, like one of the prints from the shop. So I think that's a pretty good idea.
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Hannah: I think that's a prompt even, like, what are you going to treat yourself with?
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Katie: Yeah, that's great. And I'm going to, my plan is to go for some more nice food because it will be so affordable when we're not having a glass of wine with it, you know? So, yeah, it's going good. And I'm going to eventually write down how I'm feeling and then we'll check in back at the end.
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Hannah: Maybe you don't need that. Some people don't. Some people like it and other people don't. And I think that's fine. I bought a new journal recently, I bought new journals. I'm going to write in it, but all I do is carry it around.
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Katie: Yeah, sometimes you kind of like it just makes you feel better to have those little bits of stationery, which Cath would really hate. Friend of the podcast, Cath.
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Hannah: Yeah, Decluttering Cath.
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Hannah: No, I have written a few nice quotes about playing in it at the front.
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Hannah: And then. Yeah, I've been doing stuff around. It's called body work, which is kind of like acupressure points. So I've been re-studying some of that and writing that, and that's kind of nice.
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Katie: Yeah. I'm all for journaling for play. Good idea. Yeah.
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Hannah: Oh, thanks, Katie.
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Katie: Well, thank you. And thank you anybody who's watched, this has been good fun and we've enjoyed it.
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Hannah: You can catch up on it if you missed it. And if ever you want to get in touch with us to talk about the podcast or questions, we want a lot more audience participation in the New Year because it's fun. And yeah, just get in touch.
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Katie: Thanks, everybody. Byee.
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Hannah: Byee, *kissing noises*
00:19:35 - 00:20:17
Hannah: All right. Thank you so much for listening. And have a great week and I'll see you next time for another episode of Happily Ever After with me, Hannah Harvey. I would be very grateful if you wouldn't mind leaving a review or subscribing because this helps more people find this podcast. And of course, if you've got a friend who you think might enjoy this episode, please do recommend it to them as well. For anything else, your thoughts on the episode or any questions? Please do get in touch with me through Instagram @MumsDays or you can email me. Hannah at Mums days dot com and I genuinely love hearing from you, so please do get in touch, byee.