00:00:00 - 00:00:49
Hannah: Welcome to Happily Ever After the podcast, where we talk about life's big stories from great sex to sexual trauma, break-ups and breakdowns, icky secrets and happy endings. It's the stuff that makes us human. And boy, do we cover it all. I'm your host, Hannah Harvey. I'm a writer and a parenting blogger at Mums Days' dot com. That's M.U.M.S.D.A.Y.S dot com. I would be very grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review because it means more people can find the podcast. And I also really, really, really love hearing from you. So please contact me through Instagram @MumsDays with all your stories of life and any thoughts you might have on the episode or even questions you want answering. You can find all the details from this episode in the show notes.
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Hannah: Hello and welcome to Happily Ever After with me Hannah. And today I bring you the perfect tonic to my love jaded heart. Because of all the divorce talk that I have been doing, I thought it would be really lovely to bring along Sarah Clark. Hiya Sarah.
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Sarah: Hi, darling. How are you?
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Sarah: Thanks for having me.
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Hannah: Thank you so much for coming. I really appreciate it.
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Sarah: I feel a slight pressure to be the antithesis to a jaded heart because, like, I've got my own, like,
00:01:18 - 00:01:19
Hannah: life stuff.
00:01:19 - 00:01:27
Sarah: Yeah. Heart break from previously. And, like, I don't want to be too like, cheesy and loved up if everybody's expecting some, like, good heartbreak stories. But I can...
00:01:27 - 00:01:29
Hannah: No, you don't have to bring heartbreak here. We're happy to have
00:01:30 - 00:01:31
Sarah: a nice mix.
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00:01:32 - 00:01:35
Hannah: So, Sarah, you've recently become a celebrant. That's right, isn't it?
00:01:35 - 00:01:43
Sarah: Yes, I've recently become a celebrant, and I am loving it. It's so fun. And a lot of people might not know what a celebrant is. I guess
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Hannah: No, can you tell me?
00:01:44 - 00:03:29
Sarah: I didn't really know what celebrant was. So my friend last summer asked me to officiate her wedding, and the main person who sprang to my mind was Joey Tribbiani. You know, when he marries Monica and Chandler. But it's different in America. You can actually get legal license to marry someone just online. As a general person, you don't have to be like a religious leader or a registrar with the council. And so I thought I'd have that power. But celebrants in the UK don't have that power. We do the big wedding that people want, so we make it personal to them. But a registrar, I'm not explaining this very well. I have to work on this spiel. Every time I go to a wedding. I'm like, Right, explain it better, you silly girl. Right. So basically I married my friend and it was beautiful and so much fun. She'd got legally married before because it was a COVID thing. So she had. Just her and her partner. They signed the registrar and then they had the big wedding. So I was able to marry them. So as a celebrant, somebody would come to you. If they don't want a scripted legal wedding, they want to sign the marriage license somewhere else and then have you do a beautiful personalised wedding. That's the idea. So I learn about their love story. I meet the couples, I talk to them. It's my favourite part, like getting to know people over drinks and hearing. How did you first fancy each other? What was your first date like? How did they propose? And then putting together a wedding ceremony which celebrates them as individuals and as a partnership. And so it's just so much fun. So, yeah, the legal side is different. In the UK, it's different in every country. So in the UK I can't physically marry them because that is a council thing and I'm not part of the council. I'm an independent. Yeah, so people tend to sign the register like the day before, the week before and then have their wedding with me. I'm saying that I've only done one wedding. I've got nine this summer.
00:03:29 - 00:03:30
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Sarah: My first one is on April Fools Day and I've promised not to mention that because the brides like it's the only day I could get. It's going to be gorgeous. But yeah, I've got nine.
00:03:39 - 00:03:41
Hannah: How about a pinch and a punch for the first of the month.
00:03:41 - 00:03:43
Sarah: Yeah, that would be fun, wouldn't it?
00:03:43 - 00:04:39
Sarah: But what I'm excited by is that a celebrant isn't just for weddings. I've already done a naming ceremony and I've got a few more naming ceremonies. And what's lovely about a naming ceremony with a more modern twist is it could be if somebody was had gone through a gender transformation and they wanted to have a naming ceremony to celebrate their new identity or a blended family have come together and they want to celebrate their family name, their new family name, an adoption ceremony of someone's being named or adopted into a family. So it's really cool because what I love about being a celebrant and I'm brand new, so I haven't done these yet, is that there's opportunities to celebrate people wherever they are in life. And what I was going to say on this podcast is you can also have like a divorce, a divorce ceremony. Yeah, your new name or your new identity or your freedom and having got divorced. So it's quite cool. It's not just basically I don't want people to think I'm just there to celebrate when it's like traditional happy wedding, white wedding. It can be anything, which I think is really cool.
00:04:40 - 00:04:43
Hannah: Because my thoughts with my love jaded heart
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Sarah: Yes, of course
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Hannah: At the moment are, I will never get married again.
00:04:46 - 00:04:48
Sarah: Which is fair enough.
00:04:48 - 00:04:51
Sarah: But what if I fall in love again?
00:04:51 - 00:05:19
Hannah: Well, what some people choose to do, and I've been asked to do one of these is like a blessing of the partnership. So it's not that you'll be married, it's that you're acknowledging that you love each other and you're committing and people call it different things. So if you met someone and you did fall in love again, but you didn't want to be married because for whatever reason that had burnt you or you just didn't want that wording, you could ask a celebrant to have a different wording and for it not to be like legally binding, but just to be like an acknowledgement in front of the people that you want there.
00:05:19 - 00:05:21
Hannah: Yeah, because I want the party.
00:05:21 - 00:05:22
Sarah: Yeah, we can have the party.
00:05:22 - 00:05:23
Hannah: A celebration
00:05:23 - 00:05:44
Sarah: Exactly. So you could call it something else. You could call it like blessing the relationship or like some people call it like a spiritual union, like whatever you wanted to call it, and it veers in celebrant events from being like the cheesier end that people love, or they're more like, cool end. So it depends on who you are as a person of how you want to acknowledge those stages of your life.
00:05:44 - 00:05:46
Hannah: Yeah, and presumably you guide people through the process.
00:05:46 - 00:06:26
Sarah: I guide people and also I love meeting them where they are as well, because everybody's different, aren't they? And so I like to sort of go for a drink with a couple before they book me or an individual, depending on whether it's for naming or whatever, or a funeral and just see what their vibe is, see what their energy is and match them because guide them through it, but see what they want. It's their day. So I don't try and push anything on them. And you can do things like a couple I'm marrying later in the year are having like a cocktail thing in their ceremony, so they're making a cocktail at the front. I'm going to talk through some of the ingredients. It's the cocktail they had the night they got engaged under the northern lights and it's just amazing. Light green. I can't remember the ingredients, but it's amazing, like green cocktail. And it's quite cool because it's just them, like they're a cool couple. It's quite a laid back wedding.
00:06:27 - 00:06:28
Hannah: They're telling their story.
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Sarah: Yeah, exactly. Cool innit?
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Hannah: Yeah, that is really cool. Yeah. So I think that's what especially during COVID is what was missing was that being able to see your friends and tell your story a little bit.
00:06:40 - 00:07:09
Hannah: Completely. And I think people are like reconsidered what these traditions need to look like. They don't need to look like every other wedding you've seen or every other christening you've seen or any other, like any of those traditional archetypal moments. They don't need to look or tick any particular boxes. They just need to feel right for you. Yeah, and fun. I try and say like this, this can be fun if you want it to be fun. Who do you want to include? What do you want to say? Can we tell some jokes about like what went wrong on your first date or like what went right and make it really fun and memorable and personal?
00:07:09 - 00:07:11
Hannah: Yeah. Oh, sounds gorgeous
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Sarah: I love my. Can you tell? I love my new job.
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Hannah: I know!
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Sarah: I do. I love it.
00:07:15 - 00:07:22
Hannah: Which is part of the reason I got you on. But for before we even get to that, it was like, Thank you for coming on.
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Sarah: You're very welcome.
00:07:23 - 00:07:46
Hannah: But it's weird to me that this is the first time we're actually meeting because it's I mean, I guess northumberland's a bit like this because when I've said who's coming, you know, who I'm speaking to at the moment on the podcast, lots of different people are like, Oh, I know those two. And then somebody else is like, Oh, I know those two, but like you married somebody who I went to uni with, who was lush and the dreams, I'm very happy for you.
00:07:46 - 00:07:49
Sarah: He still in bless him.
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Hannah: And yeah, we seem to have loads of mutual friends.
00:07:51 - 00:07:56
Sarah: Can't see me coming back in five years and being on the divorce side of this podcast and it's not lush. No, I'm joking.
00:07:57 - 00:08:04
Hannah: Because from what I've seen, from what you've said about him, it's that moving away from the roller coaster.
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Sarah: Oh, yes, yes.
00:08:05 - 00:08:18
Hannah: So when we're in our early, like falling in love phase, like, I don't know about you, but you imagine that it's going to be this fairytale journey and, you know, they'll be rough in the smooth, but you'll manage it because you're in love.
00:08:18 - 00:08:39
Sarah: Totally. I, I don't know whether this is too heavy to get into straightaway, but I. Yeah, My previous long term relationship before I met my husband was very much like that. It was very toxic. It was he was emotionally controlling and abusive and it was up and down, up and down. And I remember just thinking like, I can't live like this. I don't want to live like this. But I'd got quite almost addicted to that up and down.
00:08:39 - 00:08:39
Hannah: Yeah you do.
00:08:39 - 00:09:51
Sarah: It's adrenalin rush and I think as well, for as much as I love them, the pop culture of the romcoms and the love songs and everything had made me think that that was how love was supposed to be. It was supposed to be like the arguments and the makeups and the like. I can't live without you shouting outside your window. And you're like, That's not healthy. That's not how I want to bring up children. That's not how I want to live. I like a comfortable, happy, just calm life. But I remember thinking, that's just what love was. And then when I met Jonny, I'd been on my own for quite a while because I needed some healing time. So I'd had I had like a good like four or so years in my mid-twenties on my own because I just couldn't face. Couldn't face like too much. And then I met Johnny and it was so beautifully calm and he was really up front. I was really up front with him. I said, I like you, I like you, too. And it's just But I'll be honest, it took a little while to get used to that because I was expecting more fireworks. I felt the excitement of meeting him and I felt that attraction. I felt that excitement to get to know him more. But I didn't feel that like, will I hear from him? You know, that that edge of your seat telling your friends, like, do you think he's going to text me? Do you think he's going to text me? Because he did just text me. He was really up front and really available.
00:09:51 - 00:09:53
Sarah: And so I was like, Oh, this is not what I'm used to.
00:09:56 - 00:09:56
Sarah: Oo I'm not sure I like this, where's the chase?!
00:09:56 - 00:10:27
Hannah: Why is he not withholding his emotions and making me guess? And I had to get used to it. And I love, love it. I absolutely feel so grateful. But it really did take some getting used to. I think we we convince ourselves that if somebody makes you guess or work for their love or you have to keep asking your friends, what do you think this means that that's a good that's an exciting, like romantic relationship. And I'm not here to belittle anyone's relationship. Obviously, I've been there, but it's just it's just so nice to be in like a calm place. It just feels really refreshing. And we've been together now for ten years, so I've got used to it now.
00:10:27 - 00:10:31
Sarah: But every now and then I would have had a drink. I'd be like, What are we going to fight about? And he's like, What do you want to fight about?
00:10:32 - 00:10:59
Sarah: And I'm like, No, you're supposed to do you know what I mean? That's still a part of me that I don't like, that that needs some sort of, like, drama. And I'm learning to, like, wean myself off that because I had it for a long time with my ex where it was the drama that fed me and kept me going. It was my oxygen. And. And you have something to talk to your friends about over cocktails, and you have something to cry about when you listen to the radio. And like, it's a strange thing we do to ourselves as sort of like emotional, like self abuse, isn't it? Where we.
00:10:59 - 00:11:14
Hannah: Yeah, well, it's called co-dependency. And that is an addiction in itself. So you can be addicted to that because as well you have the rough with the really good bits and it's because of the really good bits that you put up with all the other shit.
00:11:14 - 00:11:27
Sarah: And as women we convince ourselves that we can change somebody because we are good for them. And, and we see those, like you say, we see those glimmers of good bits and we think that's the real person and we convince themselves the bad side isn't the real person.
00:11:27 - 00:11:31
Hannah: And if I behave this way, perhaps there'll always be good
00:11:31 - 00:11:37
Sarah: Totally, walking on eggshells and thinking it's our fault, whatever. But yeah, no, I've done some of my own healing since then. But Yeah.
00:11:38 - 00:11:41
Hannah: Every now and again you can kind of go because I'm dating someone at the moment.
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Sarah: Are you Hannah?!
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Hannah: I am
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Hannah: He's called The art teacher.
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Hannah: Oh, he has a little cameo name on the
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Hannah: The blog
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Sarah: The art teacher. Yeah. I love how those three words already sum up like the vibe of a cool guy who's like artistic and he's good with kids and he's emotionally available. Maybe. I don't know. I'm placing a lot on. I'm projecting.
00:12:02 - 00:12:03
Hannah: Yeah, let's just say those things.
00:12:05 - 00:12:20
Hannah: But yeah, just as you start to get into something, you're like, Oh, this is really fun and it's really calm and we just have a lovely time together and we get what's going on. But both of us are a bit like, Oh, but how can it go? Go, What's the next thing? And it's like, we're almost looking for trouble.
00:12:20 - 00:12:21
Sarah: Oh no, totally.
00:12:21 - 00:12:25
Hannah: Like trying to be like, let's enjoy the moment where we are, you know?
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Sarah: It's such a cliché, isn't it? But you never know what's going to happen, so you might as well enjoy where you are. But it's a it's a female thing, isn't it, to want to feel that security and plan where we might be in five years or.
00:12:35 - 00:12:38
Hannah: Yeah, like what's the next thing? Oh, it's not going to work out so I may as well just end it now!
00:12:39 - 00:12:42
Sarah: No exactly, exactly the drama, we need the drama.
00:12:42 - 00:12:52
Hannah: Exactly. So when you were little Sarah. Yes. What was your sort of happily ever after? What was the dream?
00:12:52 - 00:14:17
Sarah: That's a good question, isn't it? I mean, I was that little girl. I'm such a basic bitch who'd watched all the Disney films and stuff, but I don't think I had a particular set path in mind. I, I knew that I wanted to eventually find a partner. I wasn't so set on that I had to have children or have a family or whatever. I just wanted somebody to have adventures with. I wanted somebody who could understand my sometimes terrible jokes and get just get me as a person. But also I spent a lot of my twenties having fun with my friends. I love being a girl. I love female friendship. So I think sometimes it's that grass is greener thing of like I'm very happily now, happily married, settled down, approaching 40, got my kids and then I think back to my twenties, which were quite chaotic, but there was so much fun. You were available to go on those girly holidays, have nights out, be spontaneous. And so I've always been somebody who likes to be surrounded by women. I'm one of four daughters, so I've got I've got three sisters and they're younger, so I've got that big sister energy. I love being surrounded by women. So I think I grew up just wanting to chase a bit of that fun and just be surrounded by friends. I was happiest at a sleepover when we were like gossiping in the through our pillows and at the school disco. My sisters laugh at me because in one school report we found you had to write your own little bit at the end after the teachers and all of mine said. I wish there were more school discos.
00:14:17 - 00:14:50
Sarah: That was the only thing I said about school. I just loved, like, the fun side. I remember reading this article that was like, you know, successful people at work are often quite task driven. But then you do need those relationally driven people because they're the ones who try and have friendships at work and make things fun. But. We might come on to this, but I feel like I've never really succeeded in my in my career up until now where I'm really, really going for it, because I have never been somebody who wants to tick off tasks and get jobs done. And it's just never done anything for me.
00:14:50 - 00:14:52
Hannah: It's all about the connections.
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00:14:53 - 00:14:54
Hannah: And that's hard to tick off.
00:14:55 - 00:15:28
Sarah: Exactly. It's never a tick. Yeah, that's a really good way of putting it. It's never a tick thing. It's trying to maintain those friendships and like, it's that thing we're all probably struggling with now. We hit our thirties or forties where keeping those friendships going, it doesn't want to feel like work because they're your friends, but it's like it does. It does involve like time and care to keep your friendships going when you're not just seeing each other for nights out every week for drinks after work, you know. You're not living together in halls or in a flat share. You are people with your own careers and lives and families and like it's harder to find that time. And I do miss that. I do really miss that sometimes.
00:15:28 - 00:15:35
Hannah: Yeah, I think that's why I because actually for me, I found female friendships quite tricky.
00:15:35 - 00:15:35
00:15:35 - 00:15:38
Hannah: Because when I was at school. This is awful Sarah.
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Sarah: No, oh what!?
00:15:39 - 00:15:43
Hannah: So when I was about 13 I stole someone's boyfriend.
00:15:43 - 00:15:47
Sarah: Oh! I thought you'd say someone's handbag, I think. I don't know which is worse.
00:15:48 - 00:15:56
Hannah: Someone's boyfriend. And I kept a secret for two and a half years. And then one of the girls found out.
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Sarah: Oh, wow.
00:15:57 - 00:16:00
Hannah: And it blew up, and none of them would speak to me.
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Sarah: Oh, no.
00:16:01 - 00:16:21
Hannah: For, like, it felt like six months, but it was probably like, maybe three months, but it felt like forever. And so from then onwards, I was a bit like a) it was my fault. I should never have done that. And I deserved everything I got. Oh, but then also a bit like but it was just some stupid boy they only saw for like two weeks and he was an arsehole and he...
00:16:21 - 00:16:25
Sarah: Oh, you only saw him for a short amount of time. And then they punished you for like six months.
00:16:25 - 00:16:40
Hannah: Yeah. It was horrific. Even talking about it now, I can still feel it. So it took a really long time to get to a place where I. I don't know whether it was to do with me feeling like I just didn't deserve friends because I'm so awful that I would do something like that or whether...
00:16:40 - 00:16:41
Sarah: Age 13 when you were a kid, like.
00:16:42 - 00:16:43
Hannah: I know, like we all make stupid mistakes like that.
00:16:44 - 00:16:56
Sarah: Especially for male attention, like the things we've done, like I definitely have done that sort of thing where you, well, maybe not completely stolen someone's boyfriend, but given the opportunity I would have. I wasn't given the opportunity. I definitely don't beat yourself up.
00:16:57 - 00:17:09
Hannah: Yeah. So when you talk about that, like that whole female thing, I'm like, I feel like I'm only just really getting it now. And it's since like the divorce started that I really leant into my female friendships and been like. Woah, this is what I've been missing all along.
00:17:11 - 00:17:32
Sarah: They are. They can be amazing. They can be complicated and upsetting because women know how to hurt each other and they know how to like. Um, exclude each other. You know, when we're at school like the example you just gave. But I think if you find women who feel like sisters when you're older, it's so magical and brilliant to feel that support and to understand each other. But you only need, like one or two.
00:17:32 - 00:17:33
Hannah: Yeah, that's it.
00:17:33 - 00:17:34
Sarah: There's not time for more than that.
00:17:35 - 00:17:35
00:17:35 - 00:17:41
Sarah: So you know me, and you can have that for each other. We just met but that's fine.
00:17:41 - 00:17:46
Sarah: But yeah, no, I think I'm definitely driven by friendships and relationships.
00:17:46 - 00:17:47
00:17:47 - 00:17:53
Sarah: So going back to your question of growing up, I just. That's what I wanted. I just wanted to be close to people and have fun with people, whoever those people were.
00:17:55 - 00:18:10
Hannah: Interesting. Which I think leads us into the next bit, because this is along with hearing about your celebrant stuff, it's the fact that you're now like, I finally found my thing. And up to this point you were like, kind of almost going through the motions.
00:18:10 - 00:18:39
Sarah: Yeah, well, I'm 38 and three quarters. Nearly 40? No, sorry, nearly 39, then nearly 40. I feel like I'm on that track and my my sort of career path now has been actually really fun. I've had some jobs that I've enjoyed. I've worked in media mostly, so advertising, then radio, then magazines, or one magazine. I really loved all those jobs. I've been really lucky to get them. I've been so grateful. I've worked hard to get them. But then once I was in the job, I was like, I was there for the fun. Honestly, I'm terrible.
00:18:39 - 00:19:15
Sarah: So the thing I was there for in advertising was we got these stacks of free magazines because it was the days when magazines were huge. You know, you'd want your Tuesday fix of like OK, Heat, all those ones Cosmo. So you got free magazines at work. You also got a budget to go to the cinema because they wanted you to know like what the current they wanted to know about current, like current culture and stuff. So I was just like living for the free magazines, living for the budget that allowed me to go to the theatre and the cinema. And then there'd be after work drinks and like these lavish lunches because it was before the bubble popped. I think people who still work in advertising, some of my friends now have said it's not like that anymore, but we'd go for these like long, boozy lunches with clients. So I was having a great time.
00:19:15 - 00:19:16
Hannah: Yeah, you're connecting with people.
00:19:16 - 00:19:54
Sarah: I was 22 and I was having a great time. But I wasn't there to like do a good job. Which is so embarrassing to admit. I was just I didn't care enough about the work. I cared more about the fun. Then I worked in radio and again had a lovely time, had a great time, but I wasn't there to like be the best web editor they've ever had. Or I just, I feel really embarrassed If anyone's listening to this who ever employed me, they need a refund. But basically I just I have enjoyed my job. But it's always the people and it's always the perks and it's always the fun and it's always like the gossip around the watercooler like that for me has been the work, and I've never been driven by the actual task at hand.
00:19:54 - 00:20:11
Sarah: Cut to.. Sorry, sorry. My husband and I met and then we quit our jobs and we went travelling, which was really fun. We did a year around the world. This isn't a travel podcast. I won't, I won't dwell on that. But it was amazing. And we had a few friends say to us, Friends who are, tell me if I'm talking too fast, I'll just realise. I'm like blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:20:11 - 00:20:12
Hannah: You're fine
00:20:12 - 00:20:26
Sarah: Friends who are very like into their careers and good on them. So much respect people who are lawyers, doctors, whatever consultants. I remember when we were going travelling, Johnny and I were like 32 and they were like, You're not supposed to go travelling at 32.
00:20:26 - 00:20:27
Hannah: You are in your thirties.
00:20:27 - 00:20:51
Sarah: They were like, why are you going travelling? You're not 18. And we stuck to our guns and I'm really glad we did. We had the best time, but we have neither of us have been particularly career driven and I think for the people who around us who were they just couldn't quite. They couldn't quite. I'm not saying they couldn't get it. Of course they could get it. But they were thinking, why are you taking a step off the career ladder? And I'm like, I'm not really on a career ladder. I might miss a Christmas party. Honestly, I'm terrible.
00:20:52 - 00:21:53
Sarah: So coming back, I found out I was pregnant with twins. So I just feel like I've I've never really got started in my career because I've chopped and changed. The reason I left my first job in advertising was because of a really stupid boy who I sat next to, and we had this really toxic thing going on. He had a girlfriend, so there you go. I've not been I've not always played fair in that department. It was horrible. I ended up leaving that job just because I couldn't sit next to him and work and then ended up leaving my radio job because they. They. What's the word? They promoted a guy over me, but I had more. I had more qualifications than him. So I remember thinking, I need to get out of this. Every time I've left, it's been like, Nah, can't. I'm just going to cut my losses and run with nothing to go to. Then worked in a magazine, really enjoyed that, went travelling. So basically I didn't feel like I was on a career ladder. I felt like I'd just been trying different things and enjoying it. But then obviously finding out I was expecting twins, I didn't feel like I could start a new job having just come back from travelling and being pregnant and expecting two babies at once.
00:21:53 - 00:21:54
Hannah: Yeah, not just one.
00:21:54 - 00:22:32
Sarah: Not just one, but two. So Jonny and I had had this career plan while we were travelling to start a campsite down in Cornwall. We'd looked at some land, we'd come up with a brand name, we'd made some plans, and then I couldn't picture myself with two babies doing that. I'd maybe we were trying for a baby so I could maybe picture myself with one baby strapped on, you know, like, the good life, like one little cute baby and this idyllic little lifestyle that wasn't realistic at all in my head. Me Just like pottering around a campsite, helping people with this one little cute little baby. As soon as I knew it was two babies, I was like, Nah, how on earth would I, no. We decided it wasn't the right time.
00:22:32 - 00:22:32
00:22:32 - 00:22:58
Sarah: So in terms of job, I did little bits of freelance work in terms of writing and editing other people's blogs and magazine articles and things and contributing. But I'll be honest, it was so few and far between because to be a successful freelancer, you really have to put yourself out there and pitch, pitch, pitch. And I don't have that ambitious drive. I just lack it. I lack that ambitious drive I always have. And so I would take work if it came to me and knocked on my door.
00:22:58 - 00:22:59
Hannah: Yeah, you can come to me, I get that.
00:22:59 - 00:23:10
Sarah: And then I was doing very few and far between. Luckily, Jonny was the breadwinner at the time and I had these two babies that came so and then I started doing more on Instagram and a little bit of money came through that way.
00:23:10 - 00:23:13
Hannah: I was going to say, When did Instagram take off for you?
00:23:13 - 00:23:55
Hannah: It became more of like a work fun, in terms of feeling like I wanted to share more when we were travelling because I did a daily post of where we were and what we were up to and I did my peak and pit of the day while we were travelling. Like the highs and lows of what was happening. The idea behind that was I didn't want to just share a perfectly glossy travel year that looked unattainable because it's not real life. Like some days I was riddled with like bedbugs. If we'd slept in a bad hostel or I was riddled with like anxiety because this was happening, but we were also having the time of our lives. So I didn't want to make it just negative because I thought that. Who wants to follow an account? This is like just about mosquitoes and like constipation. And who wants to follow an account where it's two tanned people being like Meh, here we're travelling.
00:23:56 - 00:24:27
Sarah: So I really tried to share the highs and lows and I really enjoyed doing that. So my Instagram, I got a few more followers then and it was really fun to like share what we were up to, came back and then it turns into more of like a pregnancy account and then a twin mum account. And I felt sorry for people who travel me because they wanted to know more about Bali. And then suddenly I was telling them about nappies. I was like, I'm gonna.. So you know, it chops and changes with who wants to keep up with what you're up to. And I do love Instagram. I think there's a place for it, but you have to hold it loosely, don't you? Because you just never know if it could do the plug could just be pulled tomorrow.
00:24:27 - 00:24:30
Hannah: Do you have additional places that you..
00:24:30 - 00:25:02
Sarah: Yeah. So for a while, for a long while, while I had the twins. My twins are four now, four and a half. For a long while, Instagram was really the only way I was getting freelance work or being invited to do things like this, like podcasts or being asked to do like paid brand things. And I just had this low level feeling of anxiety that I was grateful that I was getting the work, but I was like, I can't rely on Instagram because my account could be hacked, my account could be deleted, People could just stop wanting me. I could be cancelled for some, you know, you just don't know what's going to happen at all. Hopefully I won't be cancelled.
00:25:03 - 00:25:04
Hannah: No one's cancelling you baby.
00:25:04 - 00:25:12
Sarah: And and so I remember, you know, I've spoken to my friends, her husband and my sisters and being like, I do love this, but it just doesn't feel very solid.
00:25:12 - 00:25:12
00:25:13 - 00:25:29
Sarah: It doesn't feel like I have a backup plan and I didn't have a backup plan. And then being asked to cut to last August, being asked to do this friend's wedding, my friend Emma, my God, she's going to listen to this podcast. She messaged me saying, So, Emma, I love you. Thank you. You change the course of my life. It's mad, isn't it?
00:25:29 - 00:25:29
Hannah: Hi Emma
00:25:29 - 00:25:40
Sarah: Isn't it mad how somebody can ask for a favour or, you know, it wasn't even a favour. I was dying to do it. As soon as she asked me, I was like, Yeah, standing at the front and talking, I think I can manage. Talking about love.
00:25:40 - 00:26:36
Sarah: So she asked me to do their wedding and I took it seriously. Actually, I remember feeling like the weight of that of like, this is their wedding day. I want to do the best job I possibly can. And maybe that's the first time I'd felt like. I mean, I have felt like that maybe once or twice before. I've done some fun things before where I've wanted to do a good job, but I've never had that sense of responsibility be so all consuming on me. You know, there's always someone there maybe as like a fallback if you're in a job, in an office or something. But this was all on me. I was taking their wedding, I was leading their wedding. So I researched into what would be a good script and then wrote my own and then spoke to them about what they loved about each other and all that sort of thing went really well, but it was the hottest day of the year. It was in London. Last August and it was something like 37 degrees. And I'd rented a suit. I'd rented a full suit, like full length sleeves, button up, and it was really cool. It was pink and like, sometimes people comment on the photos.
00:26:36 - 00:26:36
Hannah: I've seen it on your website.
00:26:36 - 00:26:53
Sarah: Yeah, I loved wearing it, but I was sweating through it like an absolute wildebeest. It was awful. And we were in this beautiful. It's in Pembroke Lodge in London with this beautiful venue, and there was a small cafe, like to one side of the lodge, and they had like these cool sandwich fridges.
00:26:53 - 00:27:25
Sarah: I remember just before the ceremony started, I was just standing like, You can't see because this is a podcast, but like armpits up like in the fridge where they had the sandwiches, just like smiling at the guy behind the counter being like, Sorry, I'll just be a sec. But I had so much fun. It was just such a privilege to take someone's wedding and try and make it fun and memorable and lovely and relax them as well because they're, you know, the couple are nervous. They're still at the front in front of everyone they love. So just be like, It's okay. Like, let's do this. And then afterwards, on the dance floor, I love the dance for our wedding.
00:27:25 - 00:27:26
00:27:26 - 00:27:40
Sarah: And you know, Ariana's playing people, sweet strangers who'd had a few drinks or coming up to me and hugging me and being like, Are you a celebrant? Like, is that your job? And I was like, No, no. And I was like, I've never done that before. And they're like, No way. I love a compliment. So I was eating this up.
00:27:41 - 00:27:48
Sarah: So I had a few people say, You should do this as a job. They were drunk. They won't remember saying it. I took it seriously.
00:27:48 - 00:27:49
Hannah: They mean it. This is a message.
00:27:49 - 00:27:52
Sarah: And I became a celebrant because of these people, joking.
00:27:52 - 00:28:22
Sarah: Basically. I just felt so encouraged and on a high. Yeah. And I've spoken to a few people since who've trained as celebrants and they had similar where they were asked to lead something as a favour for a friend. Maybe they were good at public speaking or maybe they just were like close to the person. So whether it was a funeral or a wedding or a naming ceremony and they have such a high afterwards when it's gone well. So basically knowing that I'm disorganised and unambitious, the next day I signed up for a course because I was like, If I don't do this now and put my money where my mouth is.
00:28:22 - 00:28:23
Hannah: You will lose the feeling.
00:28:23 - 00:31:02
Sarah: I will lose that high. And I, I don't know if I would have lost that high because I've remained on it ever since, but I started the course like the next day. I think the wedding was on the Saturday. I researched it on the Sunday and by the Monday, Tuesday I was doing my coursework I'd started and it was so fun because it was like the history of marriage and the history of weddings and different traditions and cultures and around the world and how people celebrate and why this is questions not to ask, questions to ask, because there's so many delicate things that you could launch into and they might not be appropriate. So like somebody might not have a relationship with their dad, for example. So you don't want to say is your dad walking you down the aisle? You've got to tread carefully or like you want to ask about Are there any children in the family? But you want to ask that question carefully, because it might be that they've struggled to conceive or there's so many things. And so the course wasn't just like the history of marriage and how to marry someone. It was also like how to gently hold people's hands through it, what questions to ask, how to market yourself. And it was it was great. It was with the Academy of Modern Celebrancy, because sometimes people ask me, who did you train with the Academy of Modern Celebrancy? See, they've got a website, obviously, and they're on Instagram and they've been very supportive. And I there's something clicked in me and I just love it. I loved it from the moment I did it for my friend Emma. I loved the course. You wouldn't think that coursework would be fun, but I genuinely, genuinely loved it and I think something in me felt relieved to have found something. I also felt like proud of myself, which is a weird un-British thing to say. And also, if I'm honest, because I will be. I felt pleased that the children were seeing me work. Because we have these don't we have these really complicated feelings as women around work and once we become mums of the mum guilt, but also so time you spent away from them, but then almost too much time spent with them where they don't see you in any other capacity. Like I've struggled with all those feelings of, I feel so grateful that I've been able to spend all this time with my children and I was there full time. I still am a full time parent, Really? Well, not full time, but they're in nursery half the week. So half the week they're in nursery, but I have them the rest of the time. And for four years it was just me and them with Johnny as well. If he was around and I don't, there's something in me that loves them seeing me go off. So I say, Mummy's going to a meeting and I'm filled with joy at being able to say that. And I know for some mums that must be filled with guilt and sorrow because they're always at work and they wish they could spend more. So it's a really delicate balance and I completely appreciate there'll be people listening who are like, Well that's a privilege that you've got that you can pick and choose and but you know, mums just work really hard. It's a full time job to be a mum.
00:31:02 - 00:31:05
Hannah: Yeah, and it's expensive to put kids in childcare so some people have to stay with thier kids and would love to be doing other things.
00:31:05 - 00:31:10
Sarah: Absolutely. Absolutely. And there's so many layers to our decisions.
00:31:11 - 00:31:11
00:31:11 - 00:31:49
Sarah: Seeing as much as we can of our children, but also demonstrating a role model of being a working mum. But then also if you choose to stay at home. Amazing. And like every choice is valid and every choice is brilliant. But for me I felt like I wanted to have another side, especially knowing that from September they'll be in school full time. And so it just feels like it's come at such a lovely time. And for my friend to have asked me, she couldn't have chosen she couldn't ask me at a better time where I was feeling like disillusioned with Instagram a little bit. I still have Instagram, but, you know, like it's trying to be Tik Tok with the reels and you just don't know if your account will be hacked or whatever. And then knowing the children were starting school. It's just it's just come at such a perfect time.
00:31:50 - 00:31:58
Hannah: Like were you at actively.. Well, I wouldn't say actively, but were you starting to think I need something now and I don't know what it is?
00:31:58 - 00:32:05
Sarah: I think without the word actively. Because the feeling, the feeling was there, but I wasn't doing anything about it.
00:32:05 - 00:32:05
00:32:05 - 00:32:18
Sarah: I wasn't looking into training courses. I wasn't like, I've got friends who've retrained as doulas and nurses and teachers and everything, but I've always lacked that get up and go, I'm so lazy.
00:32:18 - 00:32:19
Hannah: Maybe you don't. And maybe you just didn't know what you were trying to do and you just needed channelling.
00:32:19 - 00:32:45
Sarah: Well, clearly it has come. Yeah, I need direction. I need help. I'm somebody who I'm such a sucker for these, like online personality quizzes and things like that. Going back to my loving magazines. But I am definitely somebody who has to be accountable. I can't just do stuff if I'm not telling. I can't do things unless I'm telling the world I'm doing them.
00:32:45 - 00:32:47
Hannah: I'm exactly the same.
00:32:47 - 00:32:56
Sarah: I have to be like relationally driven. So I love that this job involves talking to people every single day. And one of the things about me extroverted, like I want to be
00:32:56 - 00:32:58
Hannah: Need to be around people to get your energy.
00:32:58 - 00:33:10
Sarah: Yeah I need to get energy from people, but also I remember reading that an extrovert is somebody who works out their problems verbally. I can't internally process. I have to externally process.
00:33:10 - 00:33:12
Hannah: That's why I've got a podcast.
00:33:12 - 00:33:17
Sarah: That's why you've got a podcast. That's why I'm here and I can't shut up and you can't shut me up like Sarah I'm done now.
00:33:18 - 00:33:43
Sarah: So yeah, I think this job really suits me and I think I have enjoyed the previous jobs I've had, but I never went for a promotion. I actually once turned down a promotion because I was worried that it would affect my friendships at work. So I'm somebody and I left because of that boy in another job. So I'm somebody who's never put their progress above their relationships. I've put my relationships above my progress. And I'm not saying that's changed now because this job is so relational and it's amazing.
00:33:43 - 00:33:44
Hannah: And it's just you as well.
00:33:44 - 00:34:13
Sarah: And it's just me. I'll tell you my favourite thing I keep telling people, which is so stupid, but it sort of encapsulates it. I now sign off all my emails. Big Love, Sarah, Kiss, Kiss because it's just me and I'm not representing a brand, I'm not representing a company and I can be as unprofessional as I bloody well like. So it feels really freeing to be like, This is who I am. I will put two kisses because I always want to put two kisses, but I would delete them if I previously if it was from a work account because I'm like oh gosh, I look so un..
00:34:13 - 00:34:13
Hannah: Whoops! You know when you send them to your boss by accident or like.
00:34:16 - 00:34:27
Sarah: Exactly. I'm the person on the phone to British Gas being like, Love you. Bye. I didn't mean to say that, but who cares? So now I'm just fully this is who I am. And I know it's too much for some people and they won't hire me. And that's absolutely fine.
00:34:27 - 00:34:29
Hannah: Yeah, it's better that they know who you are.
00:34:30 - 00:34:52
Sarah: But I'm just someone who's giddy about love and giddy about life and giddy about friendships and everything. So. As soon as I meet someone, I'm like, Hi. Like, can we be like, do you know what I mean. WhenI meet these couples? I just want to genuinely be friends with them. That's why it's fun to go for drinks and like. Yeah, but I'm not representing anybody else. I'm not some. It's just me. So it's like. It's just really freeing.
00:34:52 - 00:34:58
Hannah: Yeah. And also, you're doing something that's so personal, so you have to sort of embrace all that. Like,
00:34:58 - 00:34:59
Sarah: Yeah, yeah.
00:34:59 - 00:35:02
Hannah: If somebody wants, like the traditional thing, then they're going to go down a different path.
00:35:02 - 00:35:22
Sarah: Exactly. And I think you are sort of it's quite strange with being a celebrant. And it is similar, I think, to when I mentioned Doula, it's quite similar to Doula that you are someone sort of just hiring your personality because they you are going to run their day for them but in your way. So it's like you won't, you won't be right for some people and you will be right for others.
00:35:22 - 00:35:24
Hannah: It has to click because it's so personal.
00:35:24 - 00:35:28
Sarah: And speaking about Instagram, if anybody does want to follow me, I'm Sarah Clark celebrates.
00:35:28 - 00:35:29
Hannah: I will link to that.
00:35:29 - 00:35:54
Sarah: Sarah Clarke celebrates. And I remember well, I remember it was only a few months ago. A few months ago, when I was working out, do I set up a new business account for my work or do I keep my personal account? It just made sense to keep my personal account because I'm not doing anything that feels businessy. See, my job is so fun. I'm just turning up at people's weddings and marrying them and meeting them and having drinks and having fun and getting to know people. So it's just an extension of who I am.
00:35:55 - 00:35:58
Hannah: And loads of the people that follow you will be in that part of their lives where they're like ooh! Sarah can come and do mine.
00:35:58 - 00:36:43
Sarah: People have been so lovely. People have been. So if anyone's listening to this who does follow me and you've recommended me, honestly, I'm so grateful because so many of my weddings have come through. People just saying, Oh, I know someone who's a celebrant, and it's like they've taken the time to bother to recommend you. And I'm so grateful. And it has worked really nicely that I didn't know what I was going to use my Instagram for. And I've seen other friends, you know, they've written a book and they've used that as a launchpad to become an author or they've started a small business and now they make clothing or whatever or candles and amazing beautiful things. And I didn't know what my thing was. And like you say, and I've just found it and I'm so grateful that I have like this small to medium platform that I can use to to talk about it. And people have been kind enough to talk back.
00:36:45 - 00:36:46
Hannah: It's so lovely when they do.
00:36:46 - 00:36:48
Sarah: No, it's not one way.
00:36:48 - 00:37:00
Hannah: Because it can be a bit like that. I put all my stuff into the internet and just watching the tumbleweeds. But then every now and again, someone will be like, Oh, I read your thing six months ago about this. I found it so helpful. And I'm like. Oh, I see.
00:37:00 - 00:37:29
Sarah: Oh, my word is the most encouraging thing in the world. And I, I actually love the conversational side of Instagram, so I spend more time in my DMS than I do anywhere else. And I always reply, if someone DMS me even probably to my detriment if they're a little bit trolling because I know they might just be having a bad day or I might have said something that's triggered them in a certain area. So I reply to everybody and then I end up having these really nice conversations and feel like I know, like I know people. Yeah. So yeah, I would be sad if the plug got pulled on Instagram basically. Even if.
00:37:29 - 00:37:30
Hannah: Yes. sounds like it!
00:37:30 - 00:37:44
Sarah: No, I would. It's a big part of my life. But I'm pleased that I have what feels like another different pot. Yeah, I don't know if pot's the right analogy, but a different my finger in another little pie over here. But it's becoming the main pie. Mixed metaphors.
00:37:44 - 00:37:48
Hannah: Yes, its making sense of everything.
00:37:48 - 00:38:34
Sarah: And they're linked. It's just a lovely link because I still the reason I chose the name Sarah Clarke celebrates rather than the celebrant. So many names were already gone, obviously. But I didn't want to be Sarah the celebrant or I'm a celebrate or anything like that. I wanted it to just be. Sarah Clarke celebrates because that's still for me encapsulates celebrating life in general. Yeah, being a twin mum because I love being a twin mum. Northumberland I love Northumberland, just general life. I'm someone who's probably a bit too annoyingly perky a lot the time, so I feel like it encapsulates sort of how I am online. Like I share the, like I said before about peaks and pits. I still want to share like the negative, but I'm somebody who just gets quite excited. I'm a bit of a puppy, so I felt like that name meant I could still do the other stuff that I enjoy.
00:38:34 - 00:38:39
Hannah: Yeah, you can still be yourself and do all that stuff, but also be like, And you can hire me.
00:38:39 - 00:38:42
Sarah: Yeah, you can hire me. I'm so available.
00:38:43 - 00:38:57
Hannah: So the last one I wanted to talk about after being on your site and weirdly, the song that stuck out for me when I was reading it was that Nick Cave song Into My Arms. Yeah. Which is like, the only thing I can play on the piano now.
00:38:57 - 00:38:58
Sarah: Oh, really?
00:38:58 - 00:39:07
Hannah: Like, don't ask me, it's shit. Like, but. So you were asked to do a celebration of someone's life?
00:39:07 - 00:39:38
Sarah: Yes. So the first I wasn't expecting this to happen. So the first booking I ever had as a wedding celebrant was actually for a funeral. And I'm calling myself a wedding celebrant because that's where my heart is. I really love doing weddings, but I also find it such a privilege when somebody asks you to do a naming ceremony, Because those are really fun where you get to like talk about, Well, I love baby names. Talk about why someone chose certain baby names. It's fascinating. And meet their children. Or like I said before, it could be, did I say this already? A naming ceremony could also encapsulate like a blended family.
00:39:38 - 00:39:39
00:39:39 - 00:39:53
Sarah: Or a gender or gender transformation. And so with this booking, it was totally unexpected. And I'm really glad I said yes, I did That thing where you say yes before you really think about it, you know, what do they say? Say yes and figure it out later.
00:39:53 - 00:41:30
Sarah: So a very, very sweet friend whose mum I'd met twice, the mum passed away, so, so sad way before her time, early fifties, young, young woman of the horrible, dreaded word that we all dread cancer. And it was it was just so sad. And when they asked me to do her celebration of life. I honestly don't think I've ever felt more honoured in my entire life. For someone to put that trust in you. And I know that my my personality sometimes a bit of a joke. And I'm a bit over excitable and I'm a bit like, you need to calm down. But I took this really seriously and it was such a privilege. But then also, you know, you have to bring part of your experience or your personality into it. And I was like, I want to ask them the questions that bring her to life of who she was and who she is and how she lives on in people's memories. So I was asking, you know, what the things that really made you laugh that she would do. And and I'd met. Her name was Wendy. She was wonderful. I'd met her, I think twice. And so I knew a little bit about her. I knew who she was, but I wanted to hear from the family. And I will never forget sitting in their front room with their dogs, cup of tea and just talking about her life and hearing about the things that she achieved and who she was. Things that made her laugh, made her cry, what her house would smell of because she had a candle business. It would always smell gorgeous. Northburn. and you know, her favourite music, all those things. And then that song you've mentioned into her, Into My Arms was what the husband chose. And it was heartbreaking because it is a really, really sad song and so I had to really hold it together. So it was a real test on me in my first paid gig.
00:41:30 - 00:41:31
00:41:31 - 00:42:09
Sarah: Yeah, it was a learning curve, but I feel like it went well. And I think I remember speaking about this on Instagram. Somebody asked me, How do you stop yourself from crying? And that's relevant, whether it's a funeral naming ceremony or a wedding, because all of those can make you cry. And I was like, it's that feeling of when you have an emotion and you either choose to lean into it or lean out of it. So sometimes, you know, when you're watching a sad film and you actually fancy having a big cry, so you lean into that feeling and you almost turn on the waterworks because like, this is therapeutic. This is lovely, delicious, big fat cry with a tub of Ben and Jerry's. And then sometimes you get that feeling and it's just not the right time.
00:42:09 - 00:42:11
Hannah: It's not your place.
00:42:11 - 00:42:36
Sarah: Well, I'm at the front of this funeral, and it's not about me. I need to hold it together because I'm telling this beautiful woman's life story. It's the one option to this family have to. You know, someone only gets one funeral. And so I just took the responsibility seriously. So when I had those feelings of, like, tears in my eyes, there were tears in my eyes. But I just had to lean out of that feeling and stick with the script and just try to hold it together. Exactly. I'm not very good at breathing.
00:42:37 - 00:42:40
Hannah: But taking that moment and just.
00:42:40 - 00:42:41
00:42:41 - 00:42:43
Hannah: So my dad is a vicar.
00:42:43 - 00:42:43
Sarah: Is he?
00:42:44 - 00:42:47
Hannah: Yeah. So one of the things that really sticks out to me.
00:42:47 - 00:42:50
Sarah: And you said you said my dad is a vicar like you're a vicar, Sarah.
00:42:51 - 00:43:22
Hannah: I'm just thinking about funerals and being there.And one of the things like, obviously I'm proud of him for many, many things, but I feel like being with a family when they're going through that is huge. And you have to really take on so much to kind of be there for them and try and make sense of it all and to celebrate. And so, you know, I really commend you for that because I do think it's such an incredibly just amazing thing to be able to do for somebody and a family.
00:43:22 - 00:44:19
Hannah: Yeah. And my my experience of grief hasn't been as deep as some people's. But I do know that sometimes grieving can put can bring out really funny, weird feelings. Sometimes you can find yourself laughing in grief because it's that release of like nervous energy. And obviously sometimes you're crying, sometimes you want to reminisce. Sometimes it's the worst thing in the world and you just want to close that door. So for me, I was trying to follow their lead, the family's lead of how much they wanted to talk about, and they obviously still in shock because it had only been with a funeral. As a celebrant, you're there and it's still the first week after they've died. So really trying to follow their lead on how much they wanted to talk about. And luckily, gorgeous people, they were really open and warm and wanted to talk about her. And I tried to ask the right questions, but it was my first funeral. So I always hope I did a good job. But it was such an honour. Honestly, I cannot think of a bigger honour in my life and for that to be my first job. I really feel like I went in at the deep end a little bit.
00:44:20 - 00:44:42
Sarah: But luckily two of my really good friends were in the congregation for the funeral because obviously she was a friend of a friend. She was somebody that I knew. So these two beautiful friends, my friend Lee and my friend Helen sat in the audience. I don't know what you call it, audience, congregation, friends and family. And they sat there and their smiling faces helped. But definitely holding back the tears was was a tricky one with songs like that.
00:44:42 - 00:44:44
Hannah: I know. So heartbreaking.
00:44:44 - 00:44:44
00:44:45 - 00:44:52
Hannah: Wow and obviously he's lost. If you. As a final tid bit for you all. He does, Nick Cave does a really good newsletter.
00:44:52 - 00:44:53
Sarah: Oh, does he?
00:44:53 - 00:44:57
Hannah: Because he lost his son when his son was about 19 in an accident.
00:44:57 - 00:44:58
Sarah: Oh, gosh.
00:44:58 - 00:45:09
Hannah: And he's like about two weeks ago, someone had written in and was like, why are you all your emails like a Hallmark card now? And why are you not angry anymore? Because obviously he used to be all angsty and whatever.
00:45:09 - 00:45:10
00:45:10 - 00:45:21
Hannah: And then obviously it's this process of grieving. Then takes you to somewhere else where it's like, it doesn't matter anymore. So look him up. I'll link to that in the show notes as well.
00:45:21 - 00:45:25
Sarah: I didn't realise you were such a fan. Nick Caves number one fan.
00:45:25 - 00:45:27
Hannah: Yeah, because I love that song so much.
00:45:27 - 00:45:38
Sarah: No, that song. Well, I remember when the. When the guy chose it. I got the email as I was walking along the river in Alnwick by the castle. I cried my eyes out because I listened. I knew the song, but I hadn't appreciated the words.
00:45:38 - 00:45:39
Hannah: And in the context of what you were.
00:45:39 - 00:45:42
Sarah: Oh I was sobbing, sobbing, it was just me and the sheep. I was just sobbing.
00:45:43 - 00:45:46
Sarah: You probably had to get through your own grief at what had happened so you could.
00:45:46 - 00:46:29
Sarah: Basically, I need to remind myself, this is never about me. My husband laughs because I always make things about me. So I'm like, these these ceremonies are not about me. I need to channel the feelings and emotions and the stories of the people that I'm telling and not. Even down to what I'm going to wear. I need you know, I've been asking the couples, what would you like me to wear? Because the bride and groom really have to pop at the front of the aisle with a wedding. And you don't want to look like you're trying to make it about you, but you want to be smart. So in the pictures that you're not bringing down the vibe. So I always ask couples like, what would you like me to wear? Like, you want me to wear a bright colour or like a more plain outfit and you have to follow the vibe of what the day is for them. And, you know. And don't turn up in like a white ball gown. Can you imagine?
00:46:29 - 00:46:33
Hannah: I was so I was thinking I might wear this beautiful white dress that I wore
00:46:33 - 00:46:35
Sarah: A backless lace..
00:46:37 - 00:46:38
Hannah: Bit of a fishtail,
00:46:38 - 00:46:43
Sarah: Veiled headpiece. I know. I need to rein it in.
00:46:43 - 00:46:46
Hannah: Oh, no. Oh, this has been so wonderful.
00:46:46 - 00:46:48
Sarah: I can talk for hours.
00:46:48 - 00:46:49
Hannah: Will you come back?
00:46:49 - 00:46:50
Sarah: I will. I'd love to come back.
00:46:50 - 00:46:53
Hannah: Come back when you've done your summers worth of celebrancy.
00:46:54 - 00:46:55
Sarah: Yes. Yes, I will.
00:46:56 - 00:46:56
Sarah: And you can tell us some stories
00:46:57 - 00:47:00
Sarah: That's what I'm hoping I'll have, some delicious stories.
00:47:01 - 00:47:02
Hannah: Well, thank you so much.
00:47:02 - 00:47:03
Sarah: Thank you for having me.
00:47:05 - 00:47:28
Hannah: Thank you so much for listening. And I'll see you next time for another episode of Happily Ever After With me, Hannah Harvey. It would be wonderful if you could leave a review and subscribe. And of course, if you've got a friend who might enjoy this episode, then please do pass it on. For anything else, you can get in touch with me through either Instagram @Mumsdays or through my website. Mums Days dot com.