00:00:00 - 00:00:50
Hannah: Welcome to Happily Ever After the podcast where we talk about life's big stories from great sex to sexual trauma. Break-ups and breakdowns. Icky secrets and happy endings. It's the stuff that makes us human. And boy, do we cover it all. I'm your host, Hannah Harvey. I'm a writer and a parenting blogger at Mums' Days dot com. That's M.U.M.S.D.A.Y.S dot com. I would be very grateful if you could subscribe and leave a review because it means more people can find the podcast. And I also really, really, really love hearing from you, so please contact me through Instagram @Mumsdays with all your stories of life and any thoughts you might have on the episode or even questions you want answering. You can find all the details from this episode in the show notes.
00:00:52 - 00:01:06
Hannah: Hello and welcome to Happily Ever After with me, Hannah. And this week I'm joined by Katie, who is my partner in crime. The other half of my brain, the love of my life.
00:01:06 - 00:01:08
Katie: Oh, isn't that nice.
00:01:08 - 00:01:18
Katie: Katie helps me edit the podcast and is a regular visitor on the podcast over the 36 episodes?
00:01:19 - 00:01:21
Katie: Something like that. Yeah. We're doing all right.
00:01:21 - 00:01:33
Hannah: We're doing all right. So I thought we'd get together today Katie just to catch up because I've not seen you for since February.
00:01:33 - 00:01:34
Katie: Yeah, a little while.
00:01:35 - 00:01:43
Hannah: And we also had set some resolutions. I want to see how you're getting on with those.
00:01:43 - 00:01:57
Katie: We had set some resolutions. And I mean, there's resolutions in like loosest sense, wasn't it? Mine was like, get a haircut, buy a bra, send a card. I've done two of the three things.
00:01:58 - 00:02:00
Hannah: Have you?! What is the thing that has not made it?
00:02:00 - 00:02:10
Katie: The thing that hasn't made it is send the card to the friends who got married last summer. And I think because it's too late, it's too late to do that now. I'm just going to send her a nice message instead.
00:02:11 - 00:02:12
Hannah: In a card form?
00:02:12 - 00:02:20
Katie: No, just on the Internet. It's too late to wish them congratulations on their wedding last summer.
00:02:21 - 00:02:30
Hannah: That's true. I think you're right. I think so. The beauty of knowing when to say. I'm not going to do that. It's quite liberating.
00:02:30 - 00:02:35
Katie: It is. Especially when your resolutions are as small as mine are.
00:02:36 - 00:02:40
Hannah: Your resolutions was a checklist of to do's,
00:02:40 - 00:02:41
Katie: But I got my haircut and a bra!
00:02:41 - 00:02:58
Hannah: I'm glad you got your haircut and you got your bra. That's awesome. I'm trying to remember what mine were. I had a word. Mine was a word. And it was play and. Yeah, I still feel like I'm embracing that a bit.
00:02:58 - 00:03:09
Katie: I think so too. And actually I noticed it in one of the I think it was the podcast with Becci a couple of weeks ago where you were talking about play. I definitely think that's still part of what you're doing.
00:03:10 - 00:03:39
Hannah: Yeah, Yeah. I've been thinking more about sort of what it actually means to play, and I would quite like. Uh, to write maybe it's short an essay type book thing on it because I think. It's it encompasses a lot of different elements of life and it can be very useful for making you do things that are scary.
00:03:40 - 00:03:41
Katie: That's true.
00:03:41 - 00:04:20
Hannah: And certainly with things like when because over the last month I've been well, it was end of February, I was doing my yoga teacher training and I was really not sure that I wanted to go into teaching yoga. I thought I was doing it as a way to kind of deepen my own practice and the process of. Like going through the training is very intense and you learn a lot about yourself. So I thought that'll just be what it's for. But then coming out of the back of it, I was like, Well, why don't I just have a go at teaching it? And if it doesn't feel right, I don't have to do it. But it turns out I love it.
00:04:20 - 00:04:24
Katie: Yeah, that's great. I feel really pleased for personal reasons.
00:04:25 - 00:04:26
Hannah: You can come to my class.
00:04:26 - 00:04:28
Katie: I'm absolutely going to come to your class.
00:04:28 - 00:05:02
Hannah: Yay! So that's. Yeah, I'm starting a class. In fact, when this goes live, it will have already happened. But you just have to have a go at this stuff, don't you? And I think you know, what's play for me as well isn't necessarily for other people because, um, I've learnt a lot about it and I know about it and I can then pass that on and teach, teach it to other people. And whatever happens, I know that they will come out of the experience better because I know this yoga is so good. You're going to love it Katie
00:05:02 - 00:05:03
Katie: I'm so excited.
00:05:04 - 00:05:17
Hannah: So thanks for coming for that. So, yeah, I guess. To be honest, this last this first half of quarter of the year hasn't felt overly fun.
00:05:17 - 00:05:18
Katie: Yeah.
00:05:18 - 00:05:58
Hannah: There's been quite a lot of death that has affected not just my life. I've seen it with friends online and. You know, people that I'm close to and. Yeah, but just feel like an anxiety as well has been a big thing that we're talking to Jambo about in a few weeks. But, um. It does feel like now that we're into spring. And that whole sort of spring energy in little lambs jumping around that sort of vibe is starting to come out again. So hopefully there'll be a lot more chance to play.
00:05:58 - 00:06:06
Katie: Yeah, it does feel like spring is clearing the air a little bit. I've been holding on for dear life, waiting for it to arrive.
00:06:06 - 00:06:31
Hannah: Come on, Spring. It's when you get snow in March. It's an absolute brutal like. Oh, please. It's supposed to be spring next week, and we're still getting snow. And then all of a sudden get a day like today. And it's absolutely glorious and just, Yeah. Changes the energy. So that's been awesome. And then the other thing that happened, Katie, I don't know if you're aware, but I turned 40.
00:06:31 - 00:06:34
Katie: I think I might have heard that that had happened. Oh, my.
00:06:34 - 00:06:45
Hannah: God. I was really dreading it. Um, and yeah, I wrote about it in the newsletter that sort of like. And I felt bad for dreading it.
00:06:45 - 00:06:46
Katie: Why did you dread it?
00:06:47 - 00:08:26
Hannah: Well. Well, I don't think I was actually dreading it. So at first I was like, Oh my God, I'm dreading it. And then felt guilty for dreading it because I'm like, Loads of my friends are much older than me and living great lives and really inspiring me. So who am I to think it's a bad thing to be 40? But then when I actually turned 40 and I kind of sat with the feeling, I was chatting with a friend of mine who was. Well, she basically said she was she's a bit older than me. And she said at my 30th birthday she had a terrible time because everyone got really drunk and she was pregnant. And she said she just felt knackered and fat for like the whole time. And she was like, that was basically my 30s was looking after young children and feeling pretty knackered and it helped me go, Oh, that's what the feeling was. It wasn't that I was dreading turning 40. It was feeling a bit sad about my 30s. Yeah. And like I didn't do as much as I wanted to. That kind of vibe when actually, yeah, there were some really tough times and raising children is tough. And often as women we can get lost in the process of not just having children but other life stuff and getting married and partners and relationships and, you know, just not necessarily feeling like. Um, we're making progress on our own stuff. Yeah. Um, so I think there was a little bit of mourning for that. Like, oh, the last few years have been a bit tough.
00:08:26 - 00:08:31
Katie: Yeah, I get that. It feels like wasted time. But there is no wasted time.
00:08:31 - 00:08:43
Hannah: Yeah, it did. Especially the transitional years of, like, moving from being married to not married. Oh, that's the other thing that happened this week is I've finally got the papers to saying that I'm divorced.
00:08:43 - 00:08:46
Katie: Yayyy.
00:08:46 - 00:08:48
Hannah: I don't know if it's yay or not, but.
00:08:48 - 00:08:49
Katie: It's been a long time coming.
00:08:49 - 00:09:08
Hannah: Yeah, like, I knew it was coming, and it's, you know, obviously what the aim was, but obviously it comes with, it reminds me of the episode with Lea from The Life She Built and she said the moment you get your divorce papers. Isn't necessarily a happy one. It's a moment of going Shit, I can't believe I've made it through all that.
00:09:08 - 00:09:09
Katie: Yeah.
00:09:09 - 00:09:18
Hannah: So it's all sort of come at the same time. We've got spring, we've got turning 40, we've got the divorce is finally through and I'm ready for a holiday.
00:09:18 - 00:09:18
Katie: I bet.
00:09:19 - 00:09:38
Hannah: I think so. So luckily it is Easter holidays and I've got lots of nice trips planned. But what I did do, instead of like lamenting how sad my 30s have been, I've written a list of 30 things that were great about my 30s. Would you like to hear them?
00:09:38 - 00:09:40
Katie: I would love to hear them. I would.
00:09:41 - 00:09:46
Hannah: And being as you're just a baby at 32, you'll have to let me know which ones you can relate to.
00:09:46 - 00:09:48
Katie: Yes, okay. I'll do that.
00:09:49 - 00:09:51
Hannah: So number one is I had a second baby.
00:09:52 - 00:09:55
Katie: Was baby number one in your 20s? Yeah.
00:09:55 - 00:10:04
Hannah: So I was 29 when I had Ruben, so I remember turning 30 with a babe in arms. Didn't stop me getting very drunk at that party.
00:10:04 - 00:10:06
Hannah: Nah, it happens
00:10:06 - 00:10:10
Hannah: Number two is that I kept the first baby happy and healthy for ten years.
00:10:10 - 00:10:14
Katie: Yeah, that's something to celebrate. Definitely.
00:10:14 - 00:10:19
Hannah: So he's been doing all right. Number three is I developed a very good dental hygiene.
00:10:19 - 00:10:26
Katie: Got to celebrate the little things. Actually, it's not a little thing at all. Dental hygiene is extremely important. Forget that I said that.
00:10:27 - 00:10:28
Hannah: It does feel it.
00:10:28 - 00:10:29
Katie: It is!
00:10:29 - 00:10:36
Hannah: Like I finally floss and use those, like, in-between brush things. And I had my my teeth straightened.
00:10:37 - 00:10:39
Katie: Apparently it keeps you alive longer.
00:10:39 - 00:10:39
Hannah: Having good teeth?
00:10:39 - 00:10:40
Katie: Yeah.
00:10:41 - 00:10:47
Hannah: The other thing about my mouth is I don't have enough adult teeth, so I still have a baby tooth in my mouth.
00:10:47 - 00:10:50
Katie: I mean, you've just turned 40.
00:10:50 - 00:11:04
Hannah: I've got a baby tooth in my mouth, so, yeah, you've got to look after these teeth because I just don't have enough and I don't have any wisdom teeth. So the ones I do have have got to last. They've got to last. You've got to look after them.
00:11:05 - 00:11:05
Katie: Tick.
00:11:05 - 00:11:11
Hannah: Tick. Developed that. In my fourties. I started a podcast. Did you know?
00:11:12 - 00:11:12
Katie: Did you?
00:11:12 - 00:11:13
Hannah: Yeah.
00:11:13 - 00:11:15
Katie: Wow. I'll have to listen to that.
00:11:16 - 00:11:22
Hannah: And it's like become becoming or is one of the big loves of my life.
00:11:22 - 00:11:23
Katie: Yeah, it's great.
00:11:23 - 00:11:26
Hannah: Like, I know we're just chatting sh*t right now.
00:11:26 - 00:11:26
Katie: Well, yeah.
00:11:26 - 00:11:32
Hannah: And that's, you know, but that's nice too. And catching up. And I get lovely messages off people.
00:11:32 - 00:11:37
Katie: And you've had some amazing guests. I've enjoyed every episode.
00:11:37 - 00:11:38
Hannah: Well, that's a good job.
00:11:38 - 00:11:39
Katie: Especially the ones with me on.
00:11:39 - 00:11:43
Hannah: No. It's a good job since you're the one who listens to them.
00:11:43 - 00:11:44
Katie: Yeah, I do.
00:11:44 - 00:11:49
Hannah: And picks out all the. The quotes and stuff. Uh, number six. I quit drinking.
00:11:49 - 00:11:50
Katie: It's big.
00:11:51 - 00:12:05
Hannah: It's Biggie. I think it was a long time coming. And then when I finally did, it's like, been awesome. And obviously I spoke about that back in one of the episodes and people have written to me since and said that they've quit drinking because of that episode.
00:12:05 - 00:12:06
Katie: Yeah.
00:12:06 - 00:12:41
Hannah: Which is not necessarily like I don't want to be the evangelist on giving up drinking, but only if it's a problem. Yeah. So if someone feels like they're not enjoying drinking anymore, they're the people that I want to be like, It's okay, you can do it. Like you're not going to miss out because it's all the fears you have around quitting. That I want to let to reassure people that you're not. It's not as bad as you think and you will cope. Yeah, but obviously, if you want to drink crack on. Absolutely no problem whatsoever.
00:12:41 - 00:12:42
Katie: Yeah.
00:12:43 - 00:12:45
Hannah: I won a blogging award.
00:12:45 - 00:12:46
Katie: Oh, very good.
00:12:46 - 00:12:51
Hannah: It was a very long time ago, but it was in my 30s and it's still a still a win.
00:12:51 - 00:12:53
Katie: It's about the whole ten years.
00:12:54 - 00:12:55
Hannah: Yeah.
00:12:55 - 00:12:58
Katie: So it doesn't matter if it was a while ago. It's still something to celebrate.
00:12:58 - 00:13:03
Hannah: Mhm. Um. I fell in love with yoga and became a yoga teacher.
00:13:04 - 00:13:05
Katie: Mhm. That's a big one.
00:13:05 - 00:13:17
Hannah: And it's recent as well, so it's nice that, um. It's like a squeezed quite a few things, actually. So I felt like the last five years were wasted. But actually quite a lot of the things on here happened in the last five years.
00:13:17 - 00:13:24
Katie: Yeah, that's true. It's actually been like probably you crammed a lot more into the last five years than you did in the first. Bad and good.
00:13:24 - 00:13:27
Hannah: Yeah. Like sneaking the last few things in. Yeah.
00:13:28 - 00:14:02
Hannah: Um, I had to be really brave. I'm quite a people pleaser. Um, so I really don't like conflict and I really don't like saying no to people, and I feel like that's something I've getting over. I'm getting braver doing those things and, like, really just. And making sure I'm okay before I do other things, I guess is where I'm at with that. I wrote a kid's book, which was like 40,000 words.
00:14:03 - 00:14:03
Katie: It's impressive.
00:14:04 - 00:14:05
Hannah: And I have read it.
00:14:05 - 00:14:06
Katie: You haven't read it?
00:14:06 - 00:14:07
Hannah: I have read it.
00:14:07 - 00:14:09
Katie: You have read it? Okay, good.
00:14:10 - 00:14:20
Hannah: The whole thing. So ambition for my 40s is to get that published, even if it's self published. Just so it's done. Just ticked off.
00:14:20 - 00:14:21
Katie: Watch this space, everybody.
00:14:21 - 00:14:23
Hannah: Yeah. You're going to help me aren't you.
00:14:23 - 00:14:24
Katie: I absolutely am.
00:14:24 - 00:14:28
Hannah: Thanks. I discovered and trained as a body worker.
00:14:29 - 00:14:33
Katie: Yes. Tell me more about this one. What is body work?
00:14:33 - 00:15:11
Hannah: This is to do with acupressure points within your body? And it's very intricate. Like there's loads of different points and it's the same as if you went to see someone who does acupuncture. But like, I've learnt lots of different sequences and different things to help you like calm down and things, to help you feel grounded and even some things to help deal with. Like because if you've got pains in certain areas, it's often because there's like trauma living in there. So a lot of the bodywork can be around kind of helping people process that.
00:15:11 - 00:15:17
Katie: Yeah, that's clever. Another tool in the mental health toolkit. Exactly.
00:15:17 - 00:15:26
Hannah: And you can self-administer that kind of stuff, but I do also do it on other people. Yeah. Uh, where are we?
00:15:28 - 00:15:28
Katie: By the mouse
00:15:29 - 00:15:37
Hannah: Oh, yeah. I found the loves of my life so cheesy. But my friends know.
00:15:37 - 00:15:40
Katie: Yes, I'm big on that. Long live female friendship.
00:15:40 - 00:16:10
Hannah: Yeah. Some absolute total top babes. And again, that's probably been in the last five years through the divorce stuff. So shows who your friends are. But yeah, really, really happy about that because I mentioned in Sarah's episode that I always found female friendships a bit tough. Yeah. Whereas now I'm like getting over that. Yeah, that's about, it's that sort of like semi-competition thing.
00:16:10 - 00:16:16
Katie: We're a lot more well, I am a lot more worried about what women think of me than what men think of me.
00:16:16 - 00:16:17
Hannah: Yeah.
00:16:17 - 00:16:33
Katie: And there's like, you put more pressure on yourself to be a better person with your female friends, don't you? But I think as a consequence, like, you get what you. Give. Like if you put a lot into those friendships, would you do? Then you get a lot out of them as well.
00:16:33 - 00:16:39
Hannah: Yeah, I think it's really about. Just creating time to connect.
00:16:40 - 00:16:40
Katie: Yeah.
00:16:41 - 00:16:50
Hannah: Because it's so easy when you get into, like, family time and marriage and all that kind of stuff for those things to fall by the wayside when actually that's when you need it more than ever really.
00:16:51 - 00:16:52
Katie: Yeah.
00:16:52 - 00:17:11
Hannah: So done that. I let go of some relationships that weren't good for me and I now feel like I've got complete autonomy over my life. Yeah. So I get to choose what I eat when I eat. Where I live.
00:17:11 - 00:17:20
Katie: And that's a simple thing, isn't it? But like, it's so important to have that, you know, like to be able to pick those things yourself and not feel bad about it is, like, huge.
00:17:21 - 00:17:31
Hannah: Yeah. Yeah. So that's been really good. And I think actually probably for all my life I've never really felt completely in control of much.
00:17:32 - 00:17:32
Hannah: Yeah.
00:17:32 - 00:17:33
Hannah: Which seems really silly.
00:17:34 - 00:17:44
Katie: Because you always take everybody else's opinions into consideration and their needs first. And then when you finally look at yourself for the first time and go, I'm just going to eat what I want and live where I want. That's really liberating.
00:17:44 - 00:18:19
Hannah: Yeah, and it's also scary. Yeah, but you know, it's all doable. You don't need. Um, a partner or a man to be able to do those things, which I probably. I had been conditioned to think I did just by society, not necessarily anything else. Like you are complete just on your own and you can live on your own and you can bring up your kids on your own. And yeah, it's nice to have a boyfriend or someone else in your life, but they don't have to. Become the new thing that you revolve around?
00:18:20 - 00:18:21
Katie: Yeah. That's right.
00:18:24 - 00:18:35
Hannah: I know when to rest. And I also know when to work hard and push myself. And I know when to quit.
00:18:36 - 00:18:41
Katie: Yeah. Do you? With all of those things, surely you can't know how to do all of those things.
00:18:41 - 00:18:41
Katie: I do.
00:18:42 - 00:18:43
Hannah: Oh, you're a superhuman.
00:18:43 - 00:18:57
Hannah: Nah, I think you just get to a point where you go because I think with certain projects, you can be like, I'm not quitting this. I'm seeing this through to the bitter end. Because if I don't, the world will see I'm an absolute f*cking loser. Yeah.
00:18:57 - 00:19:01
Katie: I know. We do do that. Definitely.
00:19:02 - 00:19:16
Hannah: Um, so there were a few large projects last year where I had to go, this is not working and I'm going to quit. And not just that, but like, relationships, you know, it could be for anything. Drink.
00:19:17 - 00:19:23
Katie: Well, yeah. And knowing, but also knowing when to push yourself and work hard.
00:19:23 - 00:19:43
Hannah: Yeah. Like working with I think I talk about it later, but working with your cycle is a good one. Um, I know how to fail. It's f*cking awful. But I do. And I know how to feel. Which I've put is uncomfortable. But you kind of have to learn to sit with it and move through it.
00:19:43 - 00:19:44
Katie: Yeah.
00:19:44 - 00:20:05
Hannah: And I think. You can feel whilst also doing things that make you feel better. So like you might say, like literally yesterday I found out I got divorced. Like it was finally done. It's going right. I'm going to sit and feel this, but it doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to wallow in it.
00:20:06 - 00:20:07
Katie: No, you don't have to. That's right.
00:20:07 - 00:20:11
Hannah: And I probably did a bit like I sat and watched about 17 episodes of You.
00:20:12 - 00:20:13
Katie: Which is fine as well.
00:20:13 - 00:20:30
Hannah: And ate a lot of bacon and some strawberries. But then, you know, this morning I was like, I know I need to get out and go for a lovely walk and do some yoga and do some meditation. And that isn't necessarily something I do every day. But when I do, I feel better for it.
00:20:30 - 00:20:46
Katie: I realised recently that feeling isn't your automatic reaction to things. Is it? Like the way that I deal with my feelings is to automatically stuff them down in the deepest possible depths of my body, And it's really hard work to actually feel your feelings.
00:20:47 - 00:20:54
Hannah: Isn't it? Because really, when I say I was sitting and feeling, I was actually sitting and numbing and watching telly. Yeah.
00:20:54 - 00:21:08
Katie: Yeah. But then. Bacon But that is your self-care as well. Yeah, like. Like a combination of the two things, isn't it? It's knowing when to embrace the feelings and when to take care of yourself.
00:21:08 - 00:21:23
Hannah: Yeah. And I think as well, the subconscious needs time to process. Yeah, true. So what are you going to do? I'm just going to sit here and, like, wait for feelings to come up. Or I can wait for them to come up and watch some telly.
00:21:23 - 00:21:26
Katie: Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right. Yeah.
00:21:26 - 00:21:32
Hannah: So that was where I was at with that. And I have developed a keen interest in steps.
00:21:32 - 00:21:34
Katie: Yes. Not the band?
00:21:34 - 00:21:40
Hannah: No, As in steps on my watch. I've only done 5400, so I might go for another walk after this.
00:21:40 - 00:21:41
Katie: That's not good enough.
00:21:41 - 00:21:47
Hannah: It's not good enough. But I think little habits like that are very good for me.
00:21:48 - 00:21:59
Katie: And for a lot of people. Like I think that's really easily achievable, isn't it, to have your step goal? It is. It depends whether it's 10,000 or not. Your step goals, 5000. It would be easy for you.
00:22:04 - 00:22:17
Hannah: Smashed it! I know how to play and use play to try scary things which I think we've covered. Yeah. And I understand what love is and have experienced it in abundance.
00:22:17 - 00:22:18
Katie: Oh, that's nice isn't it?
00:22:18 - 00:22:33
Hannah: Yeah. And again, that's probably through the friends, which I then say I found my tribe of loonies, which is like, it's not just my very close friends. That's like a wider circle of crazy people that I feel like I can connect with. Mm.
00:22:34 - 00:22:45
Katie: I definitely feel like if somebody's got some sort of mental stuff going on, like I'm definitely more drawn to them. Yeah, love it. Love people with something going on. Love it.
00:22:45 - 00:23:00
Hannah: Yeah, for sure. Um, and I have laughed until I cried and or wet myself with some of these loony people. That's nice. Yeah. I've fallen in love with sharing stories.
00:23:00 - 00:23:02
Katie: Oh, that's nice as well. Yeah.
00:23:03 - 00:23:07
Hannah: And some of them are short. And lots of them are not my own.
00:23:07 - 00:23:08
Katie: Yeah.
00:23:08 - 00:23:18
Hannah: And I think that's. I really, really loving that and particularly connecting with people through just chatting on the podcast and hearing their crack.
00:23:18 - 00:23:21
Katie: Hearing their stories. Yeah, it is. It's great.
00:23:21 - 00:23:29
Hannah: I'm really, really enjoying that. And I've got over the fact I've got a B in GCSE English.
00:23:29 - 00:23:42
Katie: Oh. When I read this list in the newsletter, I thought that said I got a B in GCSE English and I thought you must have gone back to school at some point or something and got you B in GCSE English like in your 30s.
00:23:42 - 00:23:44
Hannah: Can you imagine. And then being really proud of it.
00:23:44 - 00:23:50
Katie: And then being happy about it. Yeah. Which you know, that's great, but I'm pleased you got over it as well.
00:23:50 - 00:23:55
Hannah: No, I got over the fact because I've always told myself that I can't be a writer because I didn't do well at English.
00:23:55 - 00:23:58
Katie: That is crazy. That is crazy.
00:23:58 - 00:24:01
Hannah: Yeah. So, you know, it is what it is.
00:24:01 - 00:24:04
Katie: Yeah, it is. Your writing's great. Don't listen to the GCSEs.
00:24:04 - 00:24:27
Hannah: Yeah. What do they know. I've learnt how to just show up as I am. This has been probably the hardest. Because you always think, Oh, I need to prepare, or you put off preparing by procrastinating in every other way. And it's like, just write a few questions and show up because that's how stuff gets done.
00:24:27 - 00:24:33
Katie: I feel like your natural strengths come out that way as well. You know, if you just show up as you are.
00:24:34 - 00:25:08
Hannah: Yeah. And that's been a huge thing through like the yoga teacher training. They make you so tired by the end of it, you can't your ego is dead because you're just because apparently when you sleep, your ego dies. So that's the time when, like, your own shit gets out of the way and you can kind of process. Oh, interesting. So when you're really tired, like Natalie always says this about teaching yoga is she does her very best classes when she's nearly broken because she just has to show up with what she's got. And that's the stuff that connects with people.
00:25:09 - 00:25:11
Katie: Oh, how interesting. Yeah.
00:25:12 - 00:25:14
Hannah: I like that. Like it's not sustainable.
00:25:14 - 00:25:15
Katie: No.
00:25:16 - 00:25:27
Hannah: Being permanently knackered is not sustainable, but equally, not putting too much pressure to be like, Oh, I need to be this person or that person. When I come and do this thing, it's like, No, I'm just going to.
00:25:27 - 00:25:32
Katie: Yeah. And surely like, you know, practice or make perfect with that, you know, like.
00:25:32 - 00:26:01
Hannah: Certainly things like doing the podcast is a lot easier. That first time I was like nearly dying. Yeah, I think the last set I did was quite daunting because I was interviewing lots of very amazing women and I was really nervous about it. Like I didn't sleep very well at all the night before, but you know, they were great. And by the end of the day I was like, Oh. That was cool. And you do need nerves as well.
00:26:01 - 00:26:02
Katie: Yeah, you do. They keep you going.
00:26:02 - 00:26:08
Hannah: Yeah. But it's just knowing that you can't necessarily predict what's going to happen.
00:26:08 - 00:26:10
Katie: So just may as well just turn up as you are.
00:26:10 - 00:26:25
Hannah: Show up, Yeah, do a little bit of preparation, but don't over overdo it. I completely understand my cycle now, as in I know when I'm ovulating and I know exactly to the day when my period is going to start.
00:26:25 - 00:26:31
Katie: That's great. A lot of people go through life having never done that, and I think it must affect your mood so much.
00:26:32 - 00:26:42
Hannah: I think it does. And I think you spend a lot of time being like, Why do I feel so shit on this? And I pinned it down to like day 21 of my cycle. I'm going to be in a bad mood. So I'm not.
00:26:42 - 00:26:43
Katie: It's very useful.
00:26:43 - 00:26:46
Hannah: Going to plan to do the podcast that day.
00:26:46 - 00:26:46
Katie: Maybe you should share that with me as well.
00:26:46 - 00:26:49
Hannah: Maybe I should. Yeah, we should try one day and I'll be like.
00:26:49 - 00:26:53
Katie: Oh it's day 21, I'll not talk to Hannah today.
00:26:53 - 00:27:00
Hannah: Well, maybe that's the time that I need you most. Oh, I'm going to be really sad tomorrow. Can you, like, take me out?
00:27:01 - 00:27:03
Katie: Can you send me a text message that says I'm great.
00:27:04 - 00:27:05
Hannah: No, I need to physically see you.
00:27:05 - 00:27:12
Katie: You need to see me. Okay, well, that's fine as well. You can sit with you and go, You are great. Don't worry.
00:27:13 - 00:27:29
Hannah: We'll look at some trees. Yeah. I am grateful for my story now. So it might have been a time when I'm like, Oh, why the f*ck's this happened to me and doo doo doo doo doo. And it's like. It's all relevant. It's all required to get me where I am now.
00:27:29 - 00:27:38
Katie: The bad things are what makes us interesting. They are. I think that, like, it makes you look at yourself, you know?
00:27:38 - 00:27:53
Hannah: Yeah. And you can also put things in perspective as well and be like, could be worse. Um, I'm very grateful for therapy. I've moved into a grateful list of things.
00:27:53 - 00:27:53
Katie: You have!
00:27:53 - 00:28:03
Hannah: I learnt that I'm grateful for therapy. Yeah, probably at the beginning of my 30s, I would have been like, Oh, therapy. No. And now I'm like. Yeah. Let's go deep.
00:28:03 - 00:28:04
Katie: Best thing ever.
00:28:04 - 00:28:20
Hannah: I want to understand why I do these things. I've learned a lot about myself and my motivations, and half the time, I share it here anyway, So it's no great secret. Uh, and through therapy, I discovered that I am enough.
00:28:20 - 00:28:27
Katie: Oh, you are. Hmm. No, that's a nice one. You are enough. And I think everybody needs to realise that.
00:28:28 - 00:29:02
Hannah: Everybody is. That's the thing. We're all like, Oh, if I just do this one thing or if I just hit this milestone or that one, it's like there is like the whole happily ever after. It's a kind of tongue in cheek name because it's not a thing. Yeah, it's not. It's like all fairy tales have the good bits and the bad bits in them and it's all a journey. And, you know, the end of that story is the start of the next thing that might be sh*t. But you know, it's noticing the good bits along the way, I guess, and, and knowing that we're enough is one of those things. Yeah. Mhm.
00:29:04 - 00:29:06
Katie: Mm. Good. I feel good now.
00:29:06 - 00:29:07
Hannah: Does that feel good? Are you looking forward to your 30s
00:29:08 - 00:29:23
Katie: I'm looking forward to my 30. The rest? I mean, who knows? I might get a B in GCSE English. Can't wait. Great dental hygiene. Yep. Got that to look forward to about my teeth a bit more. Yeah. I'll be winning. Yay.
00:29:24 - 00:29:39
Hannah: So that's sort of where I'm at now. Yeah, I like that. I'm now 40. I feel totally great about it. I've had lots of promising things told to me about my 40s that I can look forward to. Including things to do with the shape of my nose.
00:29:41 - 00:29:41
Katie: Right.
00:29:42 - 00:29:45
Hannah: It's that coming next week with Jambo.
00:29:45 - 00:29:46
Katie: Yes.
00:29:46 - 00:29:51
Hannah: It's going to explain how the shape of your nose can help you work out what to do in your 40s.
00:29:51 - 00:29:55
Katie: Right here. I'm tapping my nose.
00:29:55 - 00:29:57
Hannah: The bridge of it, actually. Aren't you?
00:29:58 - 00:29:59
Katie: Good.
00:30:02 - 00:30:09
Hannah: Oh, thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Any new to do lists for next quarter? Yeah.
00:30:09 - 00:30:11
Katie: So what can you check on me doing for next time?
00:30:11 - 00:30:12
Hannah: Got to buy some broccoli or?
00:30:12 - 00:30:29
Katie: Or I might, you know, maybe I need to work on my B in GCSE English and my dental hygiene might be my resolution. No, I've got I'm not like I'm just, you know, what I'm working on? Like just staying sane at the minute.
00:30:29 - 00:30:31
Hannah: You have just moved in with your boyfriend?
00:30:31 - 00:30:32
Katie: Yeah, I have. So that's.
00:30:32 - 00:30:33
Hannah: Huge.
00:30:33 - 00:30:36
Katie: It's been. Yeah, real one.
00:30:37 - 00:30:42
Hannah: Well, I hope by the time we next check in. Should we check in at the summer equinox?
00:30:42 - 00:30:48
Katie: Oh, yes. Let's. I'm going to feel loads better by then. I think I hate winter time.
00:30:48 - 00:30:59
Hannah: Winter is not fun. And moving is. There's, like, a list of ten things. Um. That are the most stressful in life and one of them is moving.
00:30:59 - 00:31:08
Katie: I move house all the time as well. That can't be good for me. Moving house winter time. I feel like my body has been like this for like months now and just relaxed a little bit.
00:31:08 - 00:31:18
Hannah: Come to yoga on Saturday, will open you up. You'll get rid of the last of the stuff from your house and be fully settled in your boyfs house. You can tell us how it's going.
00:31:18 - 00:31:18
Katie: Yeah I will.
00:31:20 - 00:31:21
Hannah: Thank you.
00:31:21 - 00:31:22
Katie: Bye, everybody.
00:31:22 - 00:31:48
Hannah: Bye. Thank you so much for listening. And I'll see you next time for another episode of Happily Ever After with me, Hannah Harvey. It would be wonderful if you could leave a review and subscribe. And of course, if you've got a friend who might enjoy this episode, then please do pass it on for anything else. You can get in touch with me through either Instagram @Mumsdays or through my website. Mumsdays.com
